“I don’t want these boots! I don’t want to play the piano”! How often do you hear these words from your child? It is worthwhile to understand the reasons for this behavior and understand that insisting on the need to do things that are difficult for a small child to understand, parents are not always right …
1. Are we adequate in our claims?
It is very important for a child to defend their opinion. Listen to him. For example, you ask and demand to remove the first game in order to sequentially proceed to the next one, but the kid has a different idea: he intends to combine them and continue to play with the new one, drawn up by him.
The dispute in this case is inevitable. He will protest against your decision and defend his own, in this case you need to ask him the question "why?" Perhaps his arguments will turn out to be quite weighty and you will change your point of view. Do not be afraid of this.
2. The choice of parent or child?
Until now, many parents, and specialists, have a different approach to this issue. Of course, parental will takes place, and even if the choice of parents is justified by the fact that these professions may be useful in the future, and the child does not understand why he needs to do these incomprehensible things, you will always have to overcome resistance.
Here you can assume such a solution (in case you still insisted on your own). If the child is making progress, then the parent's choice is justified. There is ability here and it is worth the effort. If the successes are insignificant, then the child has no desire, and, possibly, the necessary qualities. The most difficult thing is to assess the abilities, and if they manifested themselves with the help of the child, you should help develop them.
3. Who likes orders?
Do you like it when you are ordered? What would you answer if you heard in your address: “Pour more liquid for dishes on a plate. So-a-k, wash it off better, you see, the dirt remains!.
In the best case, if your emotional state remains at the same level, you will answer: "If you know what is best, then do it!"
Many children, like adults, do not like directions. They may be ready to make the bed, and wash the dishes, and do the homework themselves, but the state of irritation of their parents suppresses them, and they begin to be stubborn. Avoid criticism until the job is done.
4. Stand your ground!
It is worth considering 2 psychological periods when the child is ready to defend his opinion.
The first is the “three-year crisis”. “Doesn't want to” simply because he cannot agree with what his parents offer him. This is a tempering time, so just be patient.
The second wave is the period of growing up (adolescence), the time of determining one's place in society.
The child needs to be given more independence and the ability to make at least some of the decisions on his own. In this case, the teenager is responsible for them and argues with the parents only on matters of principle, and a significant amount of stupid quarrels and whims will eventually disappear.
