Spring is a good time for new meetings and acquaintances. For twenty-year-olds, expanding the circle of friends is a familiar and elementary affair. After thirty years, there are many stereotypes and expectations from the first communication. Acquaintance becomes a real problem. But with the right approach, the chances of continuing pleasant communication are very high at any age.
Why is it difficult to get acquainted
Women believe that all good men are already in a relationship. Men think the same way about women. And both of them dream of acquaintance for friendship or a more serious relationship.
For dating, both men and women need to get out of their comfort zone. This is not always easy to do. One of the reasons is coming up with another person's response. And since the presented reaction is not always positive, there is a desire to protect oneself from possible experiences associated with the alleged acquaintance. If you step aside from drawing up a scenario for the development of relations, do not think out the goals of acquaintance for your partner, allow events to develop slowly and gradually, then there is a chance that the incipient relationship will develop into a strong friendship.
Another reason for the fear of new acquaintances is the lack of experience of establishing relationships outside of work or home. In this case, men and women do not know what to expect from an acquaintance, and therefore prefer not to give a chance at all to the one who first took the initiative.
The reason for the next fear lies in the unwillingness to change the established way of life. This fear is most pronounced if the previous relationship brought a lot of pain and anxiety. In order to overcome it, you need to allow yourself to make sure that a harmonious relationship with a new partner is possible.
Women and men who have reached a certain level of well-being are afraid of commercialism. Unfortunately, these fears are often well-grounded. In this case, when meeting, it is better not to advertise your financial situation. In the event that a casual acquaintance has developed into a more serious relationship, a view on financial issues should be voiced as early as possible.
Well, one of the main problems is children from previous relationships. Someone is afraid to inflict psychological trauma on them by starting a new relationship. And someone does not want to raise the children of a former lover. But in fact, this is not always the case, and natural fathers and mothers most often fulfill their responsibilities for raising children.
Where to meet
The choice of a place to meet depends on your habits, lifestyle and level of sociability. The traditional places for this remain a friendly social circle or work. But, as practice shows, you can get to know each other anywhere. This can be a movie and a theater, a walk or a morning jog, a line at a store or clinic.
Getting acquainted, you need to try to look calm and confident, although it takes a lot of effort. A benevolent look and a friendly smile will help to win over the interlocutor and create a relaxed atmosphere.
What to talk about
The acquaintance is just beginning, it should be long and pleasant. Therefore, at the first meetings, you need to choose simple and calm topics for conversation, the discussion of which is guaranteed not to lead to conflicts. You do not need to communicate as with a very old acquaintance and tell the interlocutor about all your problems and difficulties.
Hobbies, music, films and books, sports - these are the topics that are interesting to everyone. Sincerity and naturalness will help make the conversation emotionally intense. Ladies, when planning their first conversations, need to remember that stories about clothes, cosmetics, and grooming procedures are boring for gentlemen. The latter should avoid dubious compliments, obsession, cheeky behavior. Both men and women should refrain from hints about numerous love affairs. This will not increase the attractiveness, but only alienate the vis-a-vis.
What to tell about yourself
If the relationship is planned for a long enough period, then you should not embellish your achievements and dignity. Then, with a closer acquaintance, it will be possible to avoid unpleasant minutes when there is nothing to confirm what was said earlier.
You can talk about work, hobbies and interests. In this case, you need to be careful about the interlocutor's reaction to what is said. This will help you avoid awkward situations and find common points of contact.
Give initiative to your partner
Of course, deciding on a new acquaintance is not easy. The fear of the unknown is very great. In this case, the tactics of transferring the initiative should be chosen. It works regardless of who initiates the acquaintance. The essence of tactics is the sequence of actions and mirroring the reactions of the interlocutor. A glance in exchange for a glance, a smile for a smile. Answer the question, ask yours. The initiative will go to the partner, there will be time to think over the information heard. With this course of conversation, it is easy to talk about your doubts and fears. The interlocutor will have the opportunity to talk about the true goals of the acquaintance and his intentions.
Step out of your comfort zone gradually. You should not immediately move on to active meetings, long-term joint pastime. Communicate, if possible, on social networks, by phone. This will give time to get to know each other better, to discuss issues of concern.
Think in advance of several options for the reaction to the offer to communicate. Then a new acquaintance will not be unexpected. And there will be an opportunity for a long and pleasant communication.
