Family conflicts are not uncommon, and if behaved correctly, they will not destroy your marriage. It will not work out always and in everything to agree and make concessions, in this case, you can become a hostage to your spouse and lose your identity. It is better to learn how to properly resolve conflicts in the family.
First, you need to understand what caused the conflict. Sometimes the reason lies in a bad mood, fatigue, irritation, or even trying to get the spouse's attention. In such cases, the quarrel can literally start from scratch. The best solution is to tackle the real cause. Relax, cheer yourself up, or talk to your partner about a lack of attention.
During a conflict, do not get personal and watch your statements. The quarrel will end, and the words cannot be taken back. So when you feel that you are starting to lose control of yourself, offer to take a five-minute pause. Leave the room, get some fresh air, drink some water, and when you calm down, come back and continue the conversation.
Ways to resolve the conflict
Sometimes you can make concessions. If you feel that you are ready to give up the victory, it is better to declare a truce. But it should not be so that one person always yields. Such tactics only create the illusion of well-being, but the tension builds up. And when the patience of the yielder is overflowing, unresolved conflicts can ruin the marriage.
In some cases, you can compromise. For example, if you want to buy grapes and your spouse wants pears, you can buy both. But this tactic does not work in all cases. Sometimes spouses come to the decision “neither you nor me” when no one gets what they want. Then resentment appears on each side.
The best way to solve a problem is cooperation. You have to put yourself in your opponent's shoes and understand his desires. Together, a solution can be found that can resolve the conflict peacefully. There should be no shouts or arguments, everyone puts forward proposals and they are discussed. Going through all the options, you can find a decent solution that suits each side.
If all else fails
When spouses come to a dead end and no one wants to make concessions, you need to use the services of a specialist. See a psychotherapist who can look at the situation impartially, listen to both sides and help you come to a decent solution.
To avoid fatal conflicts, due to which the family is destroyed, it is necessary to discuss serious issues in advance. Before the wedding, you need to get to know the person, determine your compatibility, how much your views coincide in certain issues. After all, if one spouse wants many children, and the other does not want them at all, it is almost impossible to find a solution that satisfies both parties. Someone will have to go against their desires or the family will collapse.
