Communication and joint games between children are not always serene and joyful. Parents often witness violent conflicts, proceedings and even fights. The first impulse is to take the situation into our own hands and in any way reduce the quarrel to nothing, but with more sober reflection, any loving parent will understand that the situation cannot be resolved in this way, a more meaningful and deep approach is required. It will be useful for dads and moms to know how to resolve a conflict between children, if it has arisen, and in what situations it is better not to interfere in what is happening.
Children's conflicts are distinguished by the fact that they serve as a way of knowing the world and an opportunity to present oneself. Through trial and error, young children try to understand and find their place in life and society. At first, all this happens unconsciously and at the level of intuition. Parents must decide for themselves how seriously they take conflicts between children - this will help from an early age to build in the child the ability to communicate and resolve differences.
What Parents Should Do When Children Fight
Do not assume that all grievances and quarrels between the kids will be resolved by themselves. Children are so open-minded about their emotions that they are not able to control them without the help of their parents. But if the task of adults is to raise an independent and sane person who knows how to behave in a team, then interference in children's play should be tactful enough and not pose a psychological threat. There are several key points to look out for when resolving conflicts between children.
1. Lack of objectivity is the main reason that can lead an adult to draw the wrong conclusions. Learn to move away from the world of your own likes and dislikes, do not treat the baby a little worse just because he seems to you to be a bully or a mischievous person.
2. The problem of personal space can separate even adults on opposite sides of the barricades. Teach children from the first days to respect someone else's and their own territory. This applies to everything: a personal corner, toys, things, dishes (if it is accepted in the family). However, the concept of ownership does not mean that you cannot take someone else's toys or give yours to someone else. Children should be taught kindness, solidarity from an early age, and a desire to do something pleasing to others should be developed in them, and free of charge. Conflicts that develop on the basis of "I will not give - give back" must be pacified without noise. Sometimes it is useful to distract the children from the division of property, and later discuss the problem with them.
3. Don't underestimate your kids. They successfully resolve many conflicts themselves. Sometimes it is useful to become an outside observer and not interfere with the development of events (we are talking only about situations that do not pose a threat to moral and physical health). If the quarrel escalates, you can calmly ask if the kids need help. Usually they themselves ask for someone else's intervention of adults through complaints and tears, or, conversely, they prefer to resolve everything themselves.
How adults can resolve conflict between children
In any situation, the task of parents is to teach children to cope with life's troubles and dissatisfaction with what is happening. And this should be done while they are small, and the authority of an adult is still quite high.
Ideally, during child litigation and disputes, adults should remain passive mediators who use deliberate words to channel children's emotions in the right direction.
1. Open your kids' eyes to what is happening in their noisy company. Let everyone describe the situation as they see it. Oftentimes, innocent ridicule and insults can become life-long psychological trauma, and with timely adult intervention, this can be avoided.
2. Give the children the key to solving the problem, let each one suggest his own version of how to resolve the conflict. If a way out through joint efforts is not found, calmly say that the game is over, and if the children are interested in continuing it, then they must come to a reasonable compromise, for example, to yield to each other.
3. Encourage the children to set new rules to help them avoid future confusion. If you managed to solve one conflict together, consolidate the result, be sure to praise the contribution of each child to the success of the common cause.
Remember the impressionability of babies: in moments of violent conflicts, switch their emotions to something else - no less vivid and impressionable. Later, when the heat has cooled down, remember the past and discuss a problem that took place some time ago. Do not let everything take its course, do not pretend that nothing happened.
To resolve the conflict between children, enter the position of each child, look at the world through his eyes, remember your childhood, do not disregard tears and reproaches, because the vulnerability of a child's soul leaves a mark for life.
Look at the actions of the kids. Everything that they know and are able to, we present to them, and if something in your behavior worries you, take a closer look, perhaps this is just a response of your own behavior.
Last but not least, give kids the feeling that they are a team. Let them play naughty, play naughty, but if you felt that at that moment unity was born between them, retreat. Even if they even crossed the border a little, the fact that the children are together should please most of all.