To be betrayed by a loved one is to experience special pain and extreme disappointment. The trail of mental trauma remains for a long time, and you should not build illusions, believing that you can forget everything.
You need to recognize the betrayal as a fait accompli and do everything so that the past does not poison your life. Do not hold back emotions: anger, resentment, disappointment, anger are quite natural in such a situation, but you do not need to linger in these feelings for a long time.
What to do after my husband's infidelity?
If you are determined to keep your family together, you need to put in a lot of mental effort and be patient. Leave the past in the past. If you have made the decision to forgive, then never come back to it either in conversations or in thoughts, although it is not easy.
Find answers to 3 questions:
- Is it in my power to continue living with this person without reproaches, memories and fears that everything could happen again?
- Does my husband still love me?
- Will we be able to overcome together all the difficulties our family faced?
If the answer to all the questions is in the affirmative, then it is necessary, having mobilized all mental strength, to try to improve life. The advice of psychologists will come to the rescue:
- First of all, do not deceive yourself - you cannot forget about cheating just because you want to. You need to give yourself time, perhaps more than a month, before the pain dulls. Over time, everything will work out, and rare memories will no longer hurt.
- Don't blame yourself. Your fault is not here, and if your husband had any complaints, then you had to express them directly, and not seek consolation and understanding in the arms of another woman.
- You may need to live separately for a while, with the prospect of maintaining your marriage. You will have time to calm down, and your husband will have time to think about your action. Usually, with mutual feelings, separation is followed by reunion.
- If the husband is very depressed by his guilt, you should not "finish off" him, reminding him at every opportunity of his betrayal. Constant reproaches for the past can make it leave you for good.
- If you cannot cope with the problem on your own, but you really want to, then contact a psychologist with your spouse for qualified help. Often these marriages can be saved with outside help.
The process of maintaining a marriage requires commitment and sincerity from both spouses. If there is no reciprocity, love and desire, then you shouldn't even try to preserve such a marriage - it is better to leave and try to start over, but with another person.
