Is conflict a nightmare or a blessing? How to treat him and how to get out of a difficult situation with honor? How to use conflict to solve an urgent problem?
Psychologists say that conflicts between people are inevitable, so you should not be afraid of them. It is better to prepare in advance for this situation and try to pass it as correctly as possible. Those who are familiar with the section of psychology called "Conflictology" know that sometimes with the help of a conflict it is possible to solve a long-overdue problem about which the parties are stubbornly silent.
It will be useful to clarify that all conflicts are due to misunderstanding. After all, each person judges according to the measure of his knowledge, his worldview and general outlook. And often our concepts do not coincide with the concepts of other people. If I ask you - how do you understand the saying "Under-salted - on the table, salted - on the back"? Everything is clear about the undersalt, it's about the salt shaker on the kitchen table. And about the back? One will say that salt in the form of sweat will stand out on the back, and the other will decide that for salted food you can get along the ridge. These are, by the way, the real answers of two people who sat together at lunch and very often communicate with each other.
Therefore, it is worth remembering that conflicts are an indispensable part of our life. Moreover, there are often people next to us who simply love to find fault, scandal, make claims from scratch, and we must somehow defend ourselves against them. And also it is useful and sometimes to defend your rights yourself, even with the help of a conflict. However, it is impossible to be in this state all your life, sooner or later you will have to put up with it, and rightly so.
How to be here? In our rational time, one very logical way can be applied. If you have a conflict with a loved one, agree with him in advance that any situation when you do not understand each other, you will evaluate in points - for example, from one to ten. And the first one who dares to speak, let him ask how many points the other will evaluate your conflict. If he gives your quarrel the highest mark, it's time to contact a specialist. But, as a rule, this is rare.
Let's take 7 points as an example. And here it is quite possible to ask: "What do we have in the other 3 points"? And then a miracle can happen. The partner will begin to remember the good things between you, and the negative will automatically begin to diminish, the conflict will no longer seem so important. In this case, you need to keep the conversation going and turn it into a positive direction. If a person does not accept "debriefing", you can simply offer to make up. Or analyze the situation in detail and find out everything to the end, if he does not mind talking about this topic.
That's all, but the main thing in this process is calmness, sincerity and belief that everything will be fine. Without this, no schemes and no logic will help.
