In Russia, only in the 18th century, Peter the Great, by a special decree, prohibited forced marriage. But, even after that, the girls did not begin to choose their future husband on their own soon. Often marriages were concluded by calculation, the bride's parents took into account the antiquity of the family, the reputation and condition of the future groom. Dancing with a man at a ball and letting him kiss your hand without a glove was almost tantamount to agreeing to marry him. Divorces were not accepted, and the future groom was chosen very carefully.
Take your time with the choice
Times and customs have changed, and for a long time girls have been able to independently choose whom to marry, without listening to parental and public opinion. Freedom of choice, excessive haste with the registration of relationships and the wrong choice of the chosen one often end in disappointment, mutual resentment and divorce.
Dostoevsky wrote that disappointment is a paltry price to pay for possible happiness. But is it really so? Indeed, in the event of a mistake, mental wounds remain for a long time, children suffer, and women begin to be afraid to start all over again and spend half their lives alone. If it seems to you that there is a suitable candidate for marriage next to you, do not rush to formalize the relationship. Take a closer look at it. After all, successfully getting married is not only a magnificent wedding and a beautiful white dress, but also a piece of life that you will live with this person under one roof. These are common joys and problems that you now have to share in half.
It will not be superfluous to decide for what purpose you want to get married? What exactly do you expect from marriage? For love or for convenience? To have a baby? Because all your friends have been married for a long time, and you are not? Or maybe it is just that it is accepted, and you are afraid of public opinion? Or are you really sure that it is with this person that you will be happy for the rest of your life? Be sure to answer yourself these questions. This will help you understand yourself and your true motives, and it will become easier for you to find the right candidate for marriage.
The financial side of the coin - for love or for convenience?
Some experts are inclined to believe that marriages of convenience are stronger, but certainly not the happiest ones. If you decide to improve your financial situation with the help of marriage, think about whether you are ready to live in a golden cage? Otherwise, make sure your senses are strong. At the initial stage of the relationship, we tend to idealize the chosen partner and attribute non-existent qualities and dignity to him. Time passes, the veil falls from our eyes, we understand that we were mistaken, and the family boat crashes into everyday life. Learn to look soberly at your chosen one, try to see him from the outside and not biasedly evaluate his merits and demerits.
If you are still confident in your choice, love each other and dream of living happily ever after with your future husband, it will not be superfluous to assess the financial condition and potential of your man. They say that with a loved one, paradise is possible even in a hut. Available. But not for long. Don't be afraid to look self-serving. A woman is almost always a future mother. Expect to be disabled for a while and devoted to caring for your child. Think about whether your husband will be ready to provide everything you and your child need. In addition, nothing kills love and passion like constant financial problems. Take into account the age of your chosen one. It's okay to be poor at twenty. It only says that your beloved was not born in mink diapers. If he is already over forty and he still has not achieved anything - most likely, this is a diagnosis. Don't confuse sudden bankruptcy and poverty. The first is temporary, the second is forever.
Definitely not worth it
Think about the existence of common interests, and most importantly, values. You don't need to have identical hobbies, food tastes, or the arts. But it's better if you look in one direction in life. Your aspirations, ambitions and fundamental principles and outlook on life must match. Otherwise, scandals and subsequent rupture cannot be avoided.
You should be aware that not all men are suitable for marriage or want to get married. And don't dream of building a life with a pathological bachelor. Especially if the man is aged and has never been married until now. You may have an amazing romance filled with passion and romance, but it is unlikely to lead to marriage. Exceptions do happen, but rarely.
It would be nice to meet the parents of the future husband before the wedding. Take a closer look at what place a woman - mother, sister, wife, occupies in this family. Most likely, the same will apply to you in the future. If the mother's opinion, on the contrary, is too authoritative for your chosen one, and is the ultimate truth, do not rush to rejoice. Most likely, in front of you is a mama's son.
