Most often, women go to their friends for advice when they have problems in relationships with the opposite sex. In response, friends in such situations receive a lot of advice, both on business and completely useless. Or even dangerous for themselves and their relationships. Think carefully about the advice before you follow it. There are some advices that you shouldn't follow them.
Instructions
Step 1
The most common advice that friends give is not to take the initiative. Oddly enough, it concerns not only men, but also work, career, study and many other things. Caring friends want you not to stick your head out and obediently wait for when: the man will call first, the bosses will finally notice and appreciate, and the teacher at the university will nominate your candidacy for a grand or conference. But it is necessary to use this advice, having thought it over and weighed everything well. It all depends on the situation. The bosses often like the proactive, and in the matter of interpersonal relations, the one who has more time is often the first to call. So think before you act.
Step 2
In terms of the relationship between a man and a woman, friends are very often advised to deny sex to a man if you are unhappy with something. The advice is undeniably outdated. If you are interested in a man as a person, it will not affect him much. If he is with you only because of sex, then he will either be furious and still will not solve the problem, or he will go to look for what you did not give on the side. Such a relationship will not last long. If you are unhappy with something, do not go on a sexual boycott, but talk to your partner. Directly tell the man what bothers you, and try to solve the problem or find a compromise together.
Step 3
If you are advised not to dramatize the situation, or even worse, your complaints are dumped even more of their problems, think carefully about whether this is the right friend. An understanding friend will listen, support and reassure. And he will not begin to persuade you that everything is not so bad. How bad everything is, only you can see and decide. And if you now think that everything is very bad, then it is so. This means that you are in such a psycho-emotional state that you perceive the situation extremely negatively, or it is really a very bad situation. In this case, you need to calm down and take action, and not persuade yourself that everything is fine.
Step 4
If you are advised to maintain a relationship at any cost for the sake of children, then these people clearly do not want anything good for you or your children. Relationships that make you unhappy also hurt your children. There must be a correct model of behavior before the eyes of a growing child. Moreover, you should not listen to such advice if your partner is violent towards you. Think about what you will teach your child and would you like him to live like you? When you torment in a relationship, you torment yourself, your partner, and your children. It is not worth maintaining a relationship just for the sake of children, this is a senseless sacrifice.
Step 5
The advice to become more feminine can be heard at any age. But immediately think about whether the giver understands you. The concept of femininity is different for everyone. And it will be difficult for another person to evaluate you. Moreover, if they wish you well, then, most likely, you will be advised something more specific, for example, to get a manicure if you have started your nails. The main thing is to be yourself, and loving and caring people next to you should help you find yourself so that you are happy. The advice to be feminine sounds more like an insult, no matter who gives it.
Step 6
Run away from people who advise you to break up and say that you are not a couple with your partner. First, only you should decide whether to stay or part. Caring friends can only support your decision. Secondly, where were they before, when the situation did not require parting? It is better not to discuss your relationship with a man with friends at all. Every time you have a problem, your friends may remember a bunch of things that you said earlier and all the past problems. In a couple's relationship, only he and she should be, all the rest are superfluous.
Step 7
Another ridiculous piece of advice from your friends is that you shouldn't get divorced and get divorced status. Again, this advice can be obtained at any age, if you have lived for six months or twenty years, with and without children. Many are truly afraid of this status and endure agonizing relationships for years. Once you've made a decision, don't be afraid. The world is changing very quickly and such a status is no longer as terrible as 50 years ago. And even more so, our world is very diverse, what kind of people and opinions you will not meet now. There are a lot of people who are absolutely normal about divorced women.
Step 8
Many may advise you to have a baby so that everything will work out. Or give birth to a child so that he marries you. Or have a baby right after the wedding. In any case, the advice - to have a baby is very harmful. Both parents should have a decision to have a child. The child is not a means to save or improve the situation. A child is a personality that is created and raised not only by you, but also by your partner. And the decision to have a child should be shared.
Step 9
The advice is to love what he likes, and if he does not succeed in pretending that it is so. You should not torment yourself and try to love rats if you cannot bear them on the spirit, and your beloved does not like a soul in them. You must take a sober view of the situation and if the interests of your partner arouse your interest, then you can get to know them better. And if you fall in love with them, you will have a little more in common, if not, there is nothing to worry about.
Step 10
Advice not to be demanding or to ask for much is just as bad for you and your partner. If you deliberately underestimate your requirements or do not say everything, you will not understand whether this is the partner who can provide you and make you happy. You dream of your cottage, and tell your partner that an apartment is enough for you, or you will never wait for a cottage, or sooner or later you and your partner will find that you think and dream about different things. This applies not only to the days, but also to personal aspirations. If you have always dreamed of higher education, but for the sake of your partner went to secondary, this will not make you or him better. You will not be satisfied. Understand what you really want and share your desires honestly with your partner, even if he falls short of them. You will understand whether he is ready to strive for more with you or for your sake or not. Hiding your desires and dreams and demanding less from yourself, your partner and life is not worth it, this is the path to dissatisfaction and unhappiness. If you have dreams and increased requirements, strive to realize them.
