Family life is different for people. But it is always assumed that it is necessary to know relatives and at least occasionally communicate with them. The mother-in-law is the husband's mother, which means she is a close relative. Lack of communication is unlikely to have a positive effect on the atmosphere in the family.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a very painful issue for both parties. Everything is more or less smooth if the families live separately. The less often you see each other, the fewer reasons for mutual dissatisfaction. In this case, the circumstances themselves develop in such a way that communication can be minimized.
It is more difficult if a young family has to live in the same apartment with their parents. Or even in different ones, but in the neighborhood. However, it all depends on the nature of both the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law.
What to think about
Is it possible not to communicate at all to the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law? Probably it is possible, although it is difficult to imagine this, since we are talking about close relatives. Another question arises. Is it necessary to bring the situation to the point where communication becomes completely impossible
Emotions, especially negative ones, do not help in making the right decision. You need to cool down, and then, after weighing everything carefully, try to find peaceful ways to resolve the conflict.
Usually, neither the one nor the other side wants evil and acts, as it seems to her, solely from the best intentions. This is perhaps the first and most important thing to take into account.
A quarrel, open or implicit, but taking place, puts in a terrible position a person who is equally dear to both the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law. You cannot envy a man caught between two fires, because he loves both: his wife and mother. This is the next point to think about.
What a daughter-in-law and mother-in-law have in common
And these two, sometimes completely different from each other, have a lot in common. And the first is the man they love, whose feelings are worth thinking about.
If a young wife finds the strength to ask her husband about what he values in his mother, she will gain a lot of useful information that will help build good relationships. In addition, a woman will suddenly see that the qualities that her husband values in a mother are also in her.
It is no secret that people choose partners based on their experience, and intuitively find themselves a person who is similar to their parents.
The next similarity between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law is that the first, in turn, was or still remains a daughter-in-law in relation to her husband's mother, and the second is a potential mother-in-law.
In this regard, a young woman, first, should gently question her mother-in-law about her relationship with her mother-in-law. This conversation can help the daughter-in-law learn about what she did not know yet, accept some new things for herself. The conversation will be useful for the mother-in-law as well, since it will help to rethink something, in any case, it will make you wonder why the relationship with the daughter-in-law does not work out.
A person is so arranged that he hardly gets used to a new role for him and begins to understand a lot only when he finds himself in a certain situation.
A young woman, becoming a daughter-in-law, does not think that over time she will become a mother-in-law. If she has a son, then it is inevitable. The child grows up and sees how his parents and grandparents get along or not. And when he grows up, he will most likely begin to build his relationships with people, in accordance with what he has absorbed since childhood.
Is it really okay to want your grown up child to perceive fights between loved ones as the norm? Is it really necessary to fight with the chosen one of your son, who, of course, will be "somehow not like that"?
There is a saying "A thin world is better than a good quarrel." However, it is better if the world is kind. Building relationships is hard work. But necessary.
