How To Do It Your Way

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How To Do It Your Way
How To Do It Your Way

Video: How To Do It Your Way

Video: How To Do It Your Way
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Parents believe that they know how to act in a given situation, and they strive to pass on their experience to already grown children. But, as you know, few people learn from someone else's experience. And adult children have a great desire to do everything in their own way. But I don't want to offend my parents either.

How to do it your way
How to do it your way

Prove your case

You can try to prove to your parents the correctness of your position. This is often not easy: parents feel that they understand the situation better, so they consider the path they suggest is the only correct one. But if the conversation is between two adults, even if they represent different generations, each of the parties has a chance to be heard and understood.

Try to understand the motives and arguments of the parents, the reasons that make them give certain arguments. Perhaps this is a desire to protect you from possible troubles, perhaps a fear of losing control of the situation, perhaps some of their personal problems, which they are trying to solve by convincing you to act in one way or another.

Once you understand the reasons, it will be easier to find arguments that will convince the parents of the correctness of your position. Try to convince them that what they are trying to avoid will not happen if you do it differently.

Avoid unnecessary emotions in a conversation: screaming, tears and a raised tone of statements are bad arguments in an argument. Stay calm and stick to the position of an adult, sane person, and not a capricious child who does not want to "obey mom."

Agree and do the opposite

Sometimes it is difficult not only for children, but also for parents to maintain an "adult" position in an argument. Representatives of the older generation sometimes, no worse than their children, can be offended, capricious and persist in their delusions. If a constructive conversation does not work out, and mom or dad literally does not want to listen to you, you can calm them down and stop further bickering.

As a rule, parents do this if they are afraid of losing their "parental authority." In this case, it is not so important for them how successfully this or that situation is resolved. They strive to ensure that their "baby" heed the advice of "elders". In fact, this is the position of their "inner child", not an adult. Show condescension and patience.

Thank the parents for the kind advice. Try to make your words sound sincere. Ask questions, clarify how best to do this or that business, what needs to be said, how to behave in certain circumstances. Parents will be pleased that their opinion was treated so carefully, and they will gladly give advice.

After you calm their pride, you can do as you see fit with a clear conscience. Parents, with all their desire, will not be able to control all your actions, and in the end, the result is important to you.

Still, you shouldn't dismiss any parental arguments as wrong a priori. Do not ignore their recommendations: perhaps you will be able to find a rational kernel in them, and this will help you make a really wise and correct decision.

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