It would seem that only recently you were happy, kissing to the accompaniment of cheerful shouts: "Bitter!" and "Happiness to the young!" It doesn't matter what caused the misunderstanding and separation. It is much more important to preserve the remnants of spiritual warmth for a person who was once so dear to you.
Forgiveness is the path to friendship
To forgive your ex-spouse or spouse, you need to sit down at the negotiating table. Don't wait for the first step, drown out the inappropriate voice of pride, and invite your ex to talk. Be patient if the person is not yet ready to talk to you. Set a date for the meeting when both of you are ready to calmly discuss the situation.
In a conversation, do not use phrases beginning with the pronoun "You" ("you were …", "you did …", "you offended …", etc.). This is a tactic of accusation, and it is perceived by ear as aggression.
Tell us about your experiences, but without pitiful notes in your voice and using "I" as little as possible. For example, replace “I suffered so much (suffered)” with the phrase: “You know, it hurt me when we could not come to an understanding of this problem.” Thus, you will tell about yourself and show that you are not indifferent to your partner.
Motivation for a friendly union can be phrases that offer a solution to the problem: "Come on, we …", "If you want, I can …".
Try not to ask how the person is doing now without you. You broke up, and everyone's personal life is a line that cannot be crossed. If the ex-spouse or spouse wants, they themselves will tell their secrets, but already at the stage of friendship.
Adequately and objectively assess the causes of your past conflicts. If you are guilty, admit it and sincerely repent.
Finding common goals
A common child is the thread that will keep you together for several years. Discuss parenting options and conditions for the child.
Do not limit the child's communication with the other parent on weekends, let them communicate as much as necessary.
In the absence of common children, find other options for communication.
Ask if you can count on your ex-spouse (or spouse) in such and such a case. This does not mean that you can call at three o'clock in the morning and ask to come to fix a leaking tap or calm your shattered nerves. There are corresponding services for this.
A common affair can be business or planning a joint vacation. After all, friends sometimes rest together.
Get ready to embrace new love
This applies to both you and your partner.
Life is unpredictable, you can get back together, or you can find another love.
If you fall in love again, tactfully inform your ex-spouse. Make sure that your friendships will not be affected in any way. Be prepared to listen to jealousy and even criticism. React calmly.
It may be that your ex has found a new love. Maintain wisdom. After all, you have agreed to be friends, and the love of friends should not interfere with friendship.
Do not be afraid if you suddenly fall in love with your ex-spouse again! Carefully check if your feelings are mutual. If the feelings are mutual, then you have enough experience to avoid mistakes in the future. You can safely start a relationship with a clean slate.
Do not be upset that your love is unrequited. The person will either love you again, or you will have to seek your happiness with others.
Breakups, divorces, meetings and dates are integral to our lives. Approach everything philosophically, gain useful experience, and you will learn to live for your pleasure.
