It is during childhood that the foundations of our further relationship with society are laid. For the healthy psychological development of the child, both parents are necessary, because each of them plays a specific role in the formation of the personality. But what should a woman do if she is forced to raise a child (children) alone?
A woman has more developed emotional intelligence, and her behavior is impulsive and sensitive. Her need is to surround the child with attention and care, often overly pampering him. The man has more developed spatial thinking. He sets a framework that limits excessive permissiveness. The father brings the rules of conduct and norms to the family. By the joint efforts of the parents, the full-fledged education of the child is ensured.
If a child is brought up in a complete family, then this has a positive effect on the child's psychosexual development, makes it possible for him to understand that there are differences between his childhood relationships with mother and adults, between mother and father. Otherwise, there is a problem of violation of gender identity - the loss of one's own "I".
In a complete family, in which the father's authority is not undermined, there is a model where the child is a student. He sees the relationship between parents and projects them into adulthood. This is what affects his further relationship with the opposite sex.
Psychological advice
From the point of view of psychology, there are many ways to solve the problem:
- Do not forget about your personal life. Left alone, the woman tries to devote herself entirely to the child, completely forgetting about her personal life. Psychologists believe that such excessive care is not only burdensome for the child, but can also cause deviations in the child's mental health. In the future, this leads to infantilism.
- Do not treat men negatively. Even if parting with a man was painful, you should not negatively treat all members of the opposite sex. This behavior especially negatively affects the girl, instilling in her the wrong stereotypes and guidelines.
- Don't be afraid to ask for help. Left alone with the child, the woman takes full responsibility, trying to do without outside help. This position can lead to nervous breakdowns and psychological burnout. Therefore, you should not be afraid to ask for help from relatives and friends.
- Provide "male communication". Children, regardless of gender, need communication with a man, let it be an uncle or a grandfather. Otherwise, psychological problems may arise. In a girl, the absence of a man in the family can cause uncertainty in communicating with the opposite sex in the future, or, conversely, an excessive need for male attention. The boy begins to identify with his mother, adopting feminine traits, which can lead to homosexual tendencies.
- Get rid of feelings of guilt. Single mothers very often feel guilty that a child grows up without a father. Often, seeing this mother's weakness, children use it for manipulation.
- Find time for the child. So that he has all the best, the single mom gives all her strength to work. But do not forget that full communication with the mother is very important for the child, which neither relatives nor nannies can replace.
- Remove the negative about the father. Even if your breakup was scandalous, this is not a reason to speak negatively about it in the presence of a child. The reasons for divorce concern only adults, and all the subtleties of parenting can negatively affect the psyche of a teenager. When the child grows up, it will be possible to calmly tell him everything without personal assessments - he himself will figure out his attitude towards his father.
- Do not avoid complete families. Single mothers often avoid meeting with complete families, preferring to communicate with "friends" in misfortune. They believe that their child will feel uncomfortable and uncomfortable in such companies. But this is an erroneous assumption. The wider the circle of communication, the more opportunities to see different patterns of behavior.
- Do not rush to create a new family. After parting with one man, a woman is looking for a new father for her child, hoping that this time everything will work out. Unfortunately, this is not so. In order not to make the same mistakes, a woman must give herself time to identify her personal needs and desires. The criteria for choosing a companion will change, become more stringent, because now she is responsible for the well-being of the child. This will be the beginning of a new life.
Being a single mother is not a sentence. This is a lot of work on yourself, an opportunity to learn how to combine a strong woman and a loving mother, while remaining feminine and desirable. It’s hard, but doable. One has only to remember that only a self-sufficient and self-confident woman can raise a happy child.
