How to raise a healthy, smart and happy person? How can basic human values be conveyed to him? What is the main thing in raising a child? These questions have always worried and will worry parents. Some rules and techniques have been preserved since antiquity, and how many of them have arisen over the last century is beyond counting.
In fact, everything is simple here. To make a child happy, there is no need to delve into numerous treatises. You just need to bring up children not with a stick and a carrot, as many believe. You need to educate with love, respect and your own example. Only in this case it is possible to grow the most healthy, happy and self-sufficient person.
The first serious mistake most parents make is that they do not separate the child's actions from his personality. If you did something good, you are wonderful, you did not do the right thing, which means that you yourself are not so yourself. It turns out that the child ceases to feel loved, needed and dear all the time. He's kind of beloved from time to time. It seems that the parents want to convey the truth to the child, but the opposite happens.
In children in such a situation, the perception of good and evil changes. The child tries only for the praise, and is afraid to do something wrong so as not to turn out to be bad. The child must be accepted! Accept by anyone. He should feel that he is needed, that he is not loved for something. They love him for what he is: he is dear, he is important, he is the nicest and dearest. This is the most important condition for the growth and development of a child. It helps you feel confident, develops self-esteem and allows you to properly assess what is happening. And you need to discuss not the children, but their actions. Otherwise, the fragile child's psyche will not cope with emotions, and deviations in behavior will begin. Then it can result in complexes, insecurity and nervousness.
The second mistake of parents is disrespect. From a very early age, the child is a person. With your opinion, your judgment and your needs. Some parents find it difficult to understand at times. From the height of their age and the experience they have acquired, they consider themselves in the right to decide the fate of their child. It all starts quite harmlessly - with the choice of clothes, toys and food. It is clear that at some stage of the child's growth this is normal. But when the child grows up, and such a system continues, this needs to be paid attention to. Often times, parents don't even hear what their child wants. “How can he know what is best for him? I have lived longer in this world, I know better. Nobody argues. Life experience is invaluable. And you do not need to blindly follow the whims of the child. Simply by directing him in the right direction, you need to give him freedom of choice. This is where respect begins, acceptance of the opinion of your child. This is the beginning of the ability to make a decision in time and make your choice.
Overprotection and getting rid of difficulties are also unacceptable in the process of education. Excessive care is always justified by parents, because everyone wishes their children only good, only health, only success. The problem is that an unadapted person will never be healthy or successful. In later life, this will come back to haunt with helplessness and laziness. A person who is accustomed to the fact that he was always relieved of all problems will never be able to fully live, work and build relationships with others. The task of the parents is to make the child independent. This is the key to future success. And in the present too. The main thing here is not to rush from one extreme to another. Everything should be within your power. A child, at every age, can do something for himself. So, do not deprive him of this opportunity.
You can talk and argue about the correct upbringing for an infinitely long time. Now there are a lot of developments on this topic. But it is important to remember one thing - the child does not need to be trained. Any action generates a response. Therefore, children need to be loved, spend time with them and communicate. And it would be absolutely wonderful to back up your words with an illustrative example.
