Lying on the part of children is common in many families. It happens that she becomes the cause of serious conflicts between children and parents. Is it possible to wean a child from lying by harsh methods, or should this be achieved in other ways?
The best way to understand why a child is lying to you is to imagine yourself in his place. Remember your own childhood, in which you, too, probably had to lie to your parents. What exactly prompted you to do this behavior? Fear, of course. Perhaps, once, having committed this or that offense for the first time, you naively confessed it to your parents and were punished. It was from this moment that you decided not to confess in all the following similar cases. This is exactly how your children behave now - this story repeats itself from generation to generation. Now imagine what you yourself would have done in childhood if you were sure that after confessing your wrongdoing, your parents would not have punished you (or at least they were punished much softer). Would you lie? Of course no. Or, perhaps, the very desire to commit an offense would disappear. Thus, in order to teach a child not to lie, it is necessary to gain on his part the trust in his parents. Explain to him that parents are not enemies and should not be feared. Promise that in case of a confession of a misdemeanor, you will significantly mitigate or even, if appropriate, cancel the punishment, and explain that if the child does not confess himself, you will still sooner or later find out about what happened, but in this case the punishment will be much more severe … Also, never take evil off the child, remember that any punishment from the parents is a manifestation of love for the good of the child himself. It happens that the child commits this or that offense unintentionally, for example, accidentally touching and dropping a vase. It is in such cases that he lies to his parents most often. If he has a pet, he can completely blame him. Think about whether punishment is appropriate for an unintentional act in general, because the child did not set a goal to harm you, and, perhaps, he himself is very upset. Therefore, promise that in this situation, if confessed, he will not be punished at all. Remove punishments for bad grades altogether, since they are already a punishment for him. It’s ridiculous to punish cuts while walking, as some families do, but don’t go too far. Do not create conditions in which a child, having confessed to a misdemeanor, even a very serious one, will not be punished. Then he will stop lying, but he will decide that now he can “sin and repent” ad infinitum. Strike a reasonable balance, each time making an informed decision about what exactly to do in the event of a confession: to cancel the punishment or just mitigate it, and to what extent.
