You cannot expect the relationship with your stepdaughter to work out on its own immediately after you marry her parent. You will have to get to know each other, make friends and earn her trust. A wedding does not automatically make you a father or mother of an adopted child. If you want harmony in marriage, then you will have to work on this relationship, and, first of all, you. Because you are an adult.
It is necessary
- - patience
- - time
- - empathy
Instructions
Step 1
Make it clear to the child that you are not going to get between him and his parent. You naturally want to spend time alone with your spouse, give some time for two to your partner and his daughter.
Step 2
Find an activity that you can do together, without a spouse. If you are a woman, it will be easy, if you are a man, then perhaps you will go to the pool together, go skiing or teach her how to shoot? Find what the girl is interested in and what the man can teach her. If your stepdaughter is not interested in anything like that, then maybe you will take her to ballroom dancing or to a tutor. Talk to her about what worries her. Support her self-esteem, do not interrupt, do not criticize, show how important her opinion is to you.
Step 3
Do not start playing the role of "educator" from the very beginning. A stamp in your passport does not give you such rights yet. Expect respect for your opinion and your requests by showing that you respect the child's feelings, requests, and opinions. Do not involve your spouse in your arguments with your stepdaughter, try to cope yourself. If she deliberately insults you, restrain yourself, do not ask your partner to immediately punish the girl. Do not argue with the child, not correct, from your point of view, the pedagogical decisions of the spouse. Discuss this later.
Step 4
Assign some family responsibilities to the child - to help prepare dinner or set the table, to check the availability of food in the refrigerator. Something that all three of you need as a family and that will be its "area of responsibility." Involve her in some important decisions for your family. Ask how she thinks where you go on vacation together? What wallpaper to buy in the bedroom?
Step 5
If your stepdaughter is still a small child, just play with her more. Collect puzzles, draw princesses, compose songs. Play is a versatile way to get closer to your child.
