Metaphorically speaking, a virtual romance is a lot like the tapping of two prisoners imprisoned in adjacent cells. Most likely, they will never see each other, but every day they knock on the wall separating them - to tell the news, share thoughts, feelings, and all just to forget about their endless loneliness, cut off from the world.
And it is easy to imagine what such a prisoner will feel when his "interlocutor" disappears or suddenly reports - "now I will be tapping with my neighbor on the left." It would seem to the poor man that what little he had was taken from him, but this little hid much for him, and convincing himself that it was just a knock on a stone wall and nothing else, he is unlikely to ever be able to.
Flight into an illusory world, infantile escapism, the fantastic passion of an exile, imprisoned in tight walls of fears and complexes, hidden dissatisfaction with family life, oneself, life in general … possible platonic love? But platonic love involuntarily, not because of moral purity, but because of specific circumstances, and in this, too, someone's ironic ridicule is felt …
In essence, a virtual novel is a modern myth, a conditional realization of romantic ideals under conditions of almost total pragmatism. In no case should the prevalence of this phenomenon be underestimated. According to a survey among those who regularly communicate on the Internet, 60% of respondents directly admit that they have experienced virtual novels, 35% are silent about their personal experience, and only 5% say that the concept of a virtual novel is unfamiliar to them.
By the way, there is nothing new in this modern phenomenon. In the good old days, men and women unfamiliar with each other also conducted long love correspondence, sent portraits, frankly talked about themselves and their lives. If we forget about the peculiarities of the worldview of people of that era, we must admit that there are practically no differences - this is the same “exciting game”, the same “spiritual union”, the same “communication of two souls”.
It is quite possible that the development of computer technologies in the future will allow people scattered in space to communicate as if they are nearby, and virtual sex at the level of sensations will no longer differ from real sex. Until this happens, the most real thing a virtual lover can count on is a lock of his beloved's hair in a mail envelope. In this sense, the capabilities of the modern man are as limited as those of his distant ancestor.
So how does a virtual novel differ from a real one?
Some argue that there are no differences - for those who really love, these are the same feelings, the same pain. Others are convinced that virtual love is nonsense, absurd, empty. Still others believe that virtual love also happens to real people - when they love not the person himself, but the image (virtual) in their perception. We perceive people through the senses, they say, with the help of which a kind of virtual picture appears in the brain, which we consider to be reality, but more often it is just an illusion, absolutely not similar to what it really is … Both those and others, and still others are right in their own way.
In virtual communication, people can be themselves without fear of ridicule. People are not afraid to talk about the innermost, to be extremely sincere, and therefore a feeling (illusion?) Of closeness is created, which in reality is not achieved immediately.
In reality, we communicate with a person, receiving information for all senses - we judge a person by his appearance, facial expressions, gestures, intonations, etc. (although this judgment of ours does not always correspond to the truth). In virtual, you can "disguise" yourself, present yourself more profitably, highlight your strengths and hide your weaknesses. The goal can be anything - from light flirting, which perfectly tones up, to fraud and even cyber empiricism … Of course, a lot of people who sincerely want to find a "soul mate" turn to virtual dating, but it is not always possible to distinguish the sincere from the insincere.
The role of imagination in the development of virtual relationships can hardly be overestimated. A real person manifests itself only through thoughts, emotions, expressed in writing. Therefore, each virtual interlocutor is in many ways a mystery, a mystery. The incomprehensible always attracts, the riddle requires a solution. We unconsciously ascribe our own thoughts, feelings, aspirations to the virtual interlocutor, conjecture, fantasize, endow him with invented qualities, make up for the lack of information about the interlocutor through imagination - and, of course, we fill with the information we want. At one point, a person who does not exist in our reality may turn out to be the most real, the best, the closest person in the world for us.
In essence, a virtual romance is a romance with its own ideal, a romance with oneself. Hence - the inevitable disappointments that arise during real meetings. According to statistics, about 90% of virtual partners are disappointed after meeting "the love of their life" in reality.
And yet we must not forget: on the Internet we communicate not with a phantom, not with a figment of our imagination, not with a robot, but with a living person. We live a different life, unlived in reality, at the same time helping our virtual interlocutor to feel the same. If you decide to meet, then the virtual novel will cease to exist, or it will grow into a real one. Or communication will continue exclusively in virtual reality, and over time it will become rare until it stops altogether.
At some point, virtual relationships "fizzle out", because the possibilities of communication at a distance are rather limited. Here, one cannot fail to note the concentration, conciseness in time of love feelings. A virtual romance develops very quickly - feelings reach their peak in a matter of days, and the "shelf life" of a virtual relationship usually does not exceed six months.
How to explain the emotional depth and special trust of such communication? Why does spiritual closeness often arise in virtual, and not only among the lonely and unhappy?
In 1973, scientists conducted a very curious experiment. Strangers of different genders were asked to spend an hour in a dark room without adhering to any rules governing their behavior towards others. At the end of the hour, the participants will be taken out of the room one by one, and they will not have any opportunity to meet in the future. At the same time, another group was recruited, the participants of which were not in a dark, but in a lighted room. The members of this group just sat and talked. But in the experimental group, there was a desire for intimacy and tenderness. They talked less, but talked more about "the most important thing." And they spoke sincerely. 90% of the participants intentionally touched someone, 50% hugged their neighbors. Without knowing it, the experimenters modeled the situation of a modern virtual society.
In order for us to become interested in a person in reality, he must be in close proximity to us, often contact us and be physically attractive. Consequently, a huge number of people who are spiritually close to us, but outwardly unattractive people remain outside our attention. In virtual reality, the opportunity to meet a potentially close person increases many times over.
And finally, it is important to note that the virtual space itself, like a magic mirror, shows a person from a different and unusual side for him. No matter how hard he tries to be himself, he will still differ in network communication from his real self. The connection between him and his virtual incarnations can be compared to the connection between the writer and his characters. For example, a real person is married and happily married, but this is very conditionally applicable to his virtual incarnation.
Virtual novels are made by people, both single and family. Lonely - when internal or external difficulties do not allow finding a real partner, but for family it is a safe way to relieve tension accumulated in a couple, or to "give a signal" to a husband or wife - "I am not satisfied with something in you."
Can a virtual relationship be considered a betrayal of a real partner? “Yes, the virtual relationship on the side is treason” - answered 74% of the respondents. Some participants in this survey believe that spiritual betrayal is "the real thing, from which it hurts the most."
The consequences of such betrayals are obvious: virtual novels are rapidly coming to the fore in the list of reasons for the collapse of relations.
In conclusion, we will define the positive and negative aspects of the virtual novel.
pros
Virtual communication is more honest, sincere and trusting. The invisible ones that did not coincide with you pass by, and those who understand can be entrusted with the innermost.
The virtual romance is not binding. It is much easier to get away from a virtual partner than from a real one - just press a button.
A person's social circle expands, and his life becomes emotionally richer, life experience is acquired - in a much more convenient and easily accessible form than is possible in the real world. For a significant part of people (especially for people with psychological complexes, physical disabilities, etc.), virtual relationships are almost the only opportunity to act in society on an equal footing with others and have a normal social circle.
Straightforward correspondence, even if it is not sexual in nature, is quite dangerous. It is rather difficult to choose a “safe” interlocutor.
The most erogenous zone in the human body is the brain. Frank conversations that reveal the soul are sometimes more exciting than sex. But after all, not all virtual interlocutors are ready to transfer relationships into reality. So it is close to depression, and in some cases - to outright mania.
As a rule, virtual relationships are devoid of depth and seriousness. The fact that you can dissolve them from any side at any time without explanation and special efforts, of course, whips up feelings, but if a person wants to stay in the virtual world, then in reality he does not need you.
In the virtual world, we fall in love with the image of a handsome prince (princess), created in our own brain, and an ordinary person comes to the meeting.
There is a lot of debate about whether a virtual novel is considered complete - no one knows the correct answer to this question. True love can originate anywhere - and on the Internet too. The main thing is to understand how IMPORTANT your virtual relationship is to you, and how you see their future. There are many examples when it was on the Internet that people found each other. And if you decide to try your luck - good luck in your search, but do not forget about caution and the fact that in most cases a virtual novel without a real continuation is nothing more than mutual self-deception.
