Three years is the age when a child begins to feel like an individual, independent person. He has his own desires, which sometimes disagree with the opinion of his parents, which can cause irritation and even tantrums. In addition, at this age, children are still poorly able to express their desires in words and are upset because of this, which also leads to crying and screaming.
Why does the child throw tantrums?
A child at three years old can throw tantrums for many reasons.
First, children at this age have already realized that they are not one with their mother, that they are separate, independent individuals. They have their own needs, and since small children do not know how to wait and they have not yet developed patience, they begin to demand that their desires be fulfilled right now and, having received a refusal, are very upset and throw a tantrum.
Secondly, despite independence, three-year-old children want their parents to show as often as possible their love, which previously seemed unconditional - now they need deeds and actions, and children cannot yet regard words and expressions of care as love.
Thirdly, they already know how to perform basic actions: walk, talk, dress, eat, but they still have few opportunities. Therefore, fears often arise that he will be left alone, that he will be abandoned. All these feelings are too convoluted and complex to be expressed in words, and the child gets upset, screams, cries and throws tantrums.
Sometimes the baby knows that tantrums help to achieve his goal and applies this method if he wants a new toy, sweets, watch cartoons or even play, in which case this is a manipulation method that should not be encouraged. And in many cases, children simply do not yet know how to control their negative emotions and show them in this way - in the form of hysterics.
What to do in case of hysterics?
First of all, when and wherever a tantrum occurs with your child, stay calm and don't lose your temper. Do not try to calm him down with convictions, or stop him with shouting or prohibitions. It is advisable either not to react in any way to violent manifestations of emotions, or to try to hug and hug the child if the hysteria has become uncontrollable. At the same time, speak sweet words and comfort him.
Some psychologists advise to go to another room and leave the baby alone - if it was just a cunning manipulation, he will quickly calm down. But with a real hysterics, the child can become scared when there is no one, so it is better to be there and wait until the emotions subside.
In no case do not make concessions, even in public, when the child demands something - he will quickly understand that this is how you can set your own conditions. Parents need to have control over the situation. If the baby begins to behave too violently, he should be taken to a safer place.
After a tantrum, talk to your child calmly, try to express yourself in words, because of what he was upset, so that he understands that this is a more effective way of expressing his desires.