The reasons for adoption are on the surface. And they are usually associated with certain objective circumstances. But the motivation for adoption is far from straightforward.
At first glance, the motives for adoption, if they are not of a pronounced antisocial character, are not so important. In any case, our state thinks so. And that has its own homespun truth - it is difficult to spoil the fate of a child who has fallen into the system more than it already has. But the further existence of the new family, the interaction of the adoptive parents and the baby, is largely determined by the original motives of the adoptive parents.
Oddly enough, but the recently popular social advertising for orphans is more harmful than helpful. An interesting fact - after the active introduction of this kind of videos in the media, the number of adoptions did not increase much. But the number of cancellations of adoption has increased. Because an impulsive decision to adopt a child cannot form the basis of a prosperous family. This is a "lifeguard" game. And rescue is a one-time action. While family is a way of life.
Closely connected with this motive is the desire to "win the applause" - to accomplish a certain "feat", to receive praise, to demonstrate one's high morality. And here it should be borne in mind that not everyone evaluates adoption as a positive act. And that the child will remain in the family forever. A lifelong "feat" is an impossible task.
The motive “to become like everyone else,” dictated by the feeling of inferiority of childless parents, is similarly destructive. The problem of such families is in the already formed expectations, which the children "from the system" rarely meet. Honestly, and not "out of the system" - rarely.
The situation with the "replacement child" is especially difficult. The inability to cope with the loss pushes the parent to "squeeze" the adopted child into the idealized image of the lost loved one. And so on until the parent rejects the child or deforms the developing personality.
One of the newfangled motives is material goods. And, perhaps, he is more honest than those already discussed. Although for an already traumatized child, treating him as a means of obtaining any material values will also not be beneficial.
So it turns out that the only proper motive for adoption that will allow us to overcome all the coming difficulties of adaptation is an irresistible, sincere desire to share love.
In reality, everything is much more complicated. As a rule, the action is based on several reasons. But still, the main, determining, reason for adoption should be love.
