There are situations when even the most obedient and quiet child becomes capricious, nervous, can become hysterical and fight. There are many reasons for this, such as, for example, psychological age crises. In fact, there are two options for the development of events - either allow the child to do what he wants, or show the border of what is permitted. The first option may lead to the fact that in the future the child will not understand what is, what cannot be done. But in the second case, one should not go to extremes, punishment should not turn into humiliation of the child. Physical methods of upbringing cannot be used - the child may feel helpless and in the future become embittered, offended at everyone, or, on the contrary, weak-willed and depressed.
The main purpose of punishment is to show the child that there are actions that cannot be repeated. The decision on punishment should be made when the act is committed consciously. There are several general principles of punishment:
• Punishment should be directed at the act, not at the child. Children should know that they are loved and that they are not bad, but at the moment parents are scolding for some specific action.
• The child must have clear rules and boundaries. Talk with your loved ones about what the child can and cannot, this will avoid situations when what is forbidden by the parents is allowed by other relatives.
• Punishment should follow immediately after the act and be justified. You should not scold the child for what was done a sufficient time ago.
• Weigh the punishment against what the child has done. Do not be too strict, otherwise the child will do everything in the future to avoid responsibility.
• Do not arrange punishment in public, as this can humiliate the child. • The solidarity of both parents is important in punishment. If you disagree with your spouse's punishment, discuss it without the child.
• If you feel that you have punished the child unfairly, be sure to apologize to the child, explain that you were wrong. Try to be calm. If you lose control of yourself, you may yell at the child or even hit. You yourself will regret and worry about this. If this does happen, be sure to ask the child for forgiveness. If the behavior of children causes you anxiety and inappropriate actions in the child are repeated over and over again, then do not be afraid to contact a child psychologist. Often, an outside perspective helps to resolve existing problems and help improve the child's behavior.
