Mom is the closest person to the child. It's hard to tell the baby that mom is no more. But this must be done. Close family members need to use the right words to communicate the terrible news and help them cope with their grief.
The experience of meeting a child with the death of people close to him plays a huge role in his future life. Parents are obliged to instill in children from an early age a wise attitude towards death and life. When a child's mother dies, you need to think through every word before informing the baby about it. The way the child will accept the bereavement depends on how the child's attitude towards death was instilled by the parents.
Should I tell the child about the death of the mother?
Nine months before birth, the child is one with the mother. This period leaves behind an invisible bond between a baby and a woman, a psychological and emotional bond that is difficult to break. Therefore, the child's reaction to the death of the mother can be very unpredictable.
Close relatives in such situations may doubt whether it is worth informing the child right away that the mother is no longer there. But doubts arise only from cowardice, because the child will react to grief, and this reaction will have to be faced. It is necessary to inform the child about the death of the mother immediately. This is the only way to prevent the formation of a negative attitude of the baby towards himself, towards relatives, towards the whole life in general.
Psychological advice: what words to choose
Babies under the age of three have little understanding of death, especially if their parents have not talked about it. Such a child needs to be told that his mother is no longer there and emphasize that he is not left alone, he will be with his dad, grandmother, aunt. “Baby, it's hard for you to name in words what is happening in the soul, because you are still too young. Come on, can we draw with you? You will choose pencils in the colors that best reflect your condition. What pencil would you like to take? Probably, at first, all the drawings of a small child will be black, dark, gloomy. This is normal, as the baby takes out his pain.
Children from 3 to 6 years old know more about death, but they are sure that it will never touch their family. At this age, children feel dependent on their parents, and the death of the mother will inevitably cause fear and guilt. Adults should block these processes at the very beginning. It is important to explain that the mother has died, but the baby is not to blame for this. Any emotion of the child that arises as a reaction to the death of the mother should be accepted. If this is anger, let it splash out, sorrow must be shared, guilt must be removed. “Kid, are you mad at your mom because she’s gone? But she's not to blame for that. Your anger won't change what happened. Let's take a look at my mom's photo and remember how wonderful she was. What do you think she would tell you now?"
Schoolchildren and adolescents know almost everything about death. But they still need support. It is important for them to know that with the departure of their mother, they are not left alone. “I understand that you shared all the secrets with your mother. It is unlikely that I can replace her for you. But I want you to know: you can always trust me, I will always help you. You are not alone, I am with you."
