Some parents are unhappy that their child is too aggressive, others are too peaceful and kind. Especially often from dads you can hear such complaints: some kind of muslin young lady is growing up, she does not know how to give back, take away the selected toy, and life is so cruel, the strong survives, the weak is doomed in it. But this is the opinion of the parents. How to teach a child to behave in a critical situation and stand up for himself? Keep in mind that for a start, it is equally important to get parents to adequately assess the specific situation and the reaction of their child.
Instructions
Step 1
Are you sure you are not exaggerating the problem? It is important to separate two points: how the child himself relates to this situation, and how you, the parents, react to it. Ask yourself: Is the state of affairs in reality just as dramatic from the point of view of your son or daughter? Is it true that he is humiliated, insulted, oppressed? Or did this situation remind you of something from your own childhood, something that you once experienced, some of your old grievances, and you unwittingly transferred your ideas about life to your child?
Step 2
Do not instill in your child your complexes. This is a direct consequence of what was said above. Believing that he is being humiliated, parents often program inferiority complexes in their children. Do not focus an adult's attention on some kind of injustice, the baby would not react like that. Teased, pushed away, not accepted into the game … Everything happens during children's communication. Now they were not allowed to play, but in thirty minutes they would call themselves. You were pushed away, and in a few minutes you will push someone away … In childhood, grievances are easily experienced and are quickly forgotten.
Step 3
Listen to what you tell the child, what words-images you use. We often ourselves, in our own words, "program" the life of the child. We say: "life is cruel, and in it it is necessary to hard fight your way." And the child begins to feel surrounded by enemies. The world is huge, and the child in it is small, so he is not able to fight the world, and therefore does not feel able to win, does not feel protected. Hence, some children have fears, while others have aggressive behavior, the source of which is the same fear of the world. Remember that for a full-fledged harmonious development, it is important for a child to believe that the world is friendly to him. Of course, evil can meet, but good must prevail.
Step 4
Don't call your child “weak” (even in thought). This is typical of some parents, mainly dads. The children withdraw into themselves, because they cannot cope with the lack of confidence in their own strengths, and they are also afraid of incurring the dissatisfaction of dad or mom. And they stop telling their parents about their experiences, feelings. And the problems begin to grow like a snowball, which will further distance the child from the world.
Step 5
The kid is not yet able to defend himself, so defend him, but not to the point of fanaticism. Do not turn into those who, for any reason, make scandals in the yard, in the kindergarten, at school … But leaving the child unprotected, and then even blaming him for weakness, is the worst way out. Over time, he will learn himself, accumulate the strength to resist injustice and aggression, but for now adults are obliged to help him figure out what is happening. It is very important to take into account the age of the child.
Step 6
It is necessary to get the little person out of the traumatic situation. If your child is constantly being bullied, talk to caregivers or teachers. If necessary, transfer him to another institution. But only as a last resort, "running" from kindergarten to kindergarten or from school to school is just as destructive as "hushing up" the problem.
Step 7
Observe your child: does he provoke aggression himself? You talked with educators or teachers, changed childcare or school, and the situation remained. Perhaps it's not just those around your daughter or son. Apparently, your child provokes such an attitude towards himself. And then he complains that he is offended. In this case, you need to teach not to give change, but to communicate with children, to be open and benevolent.
