Marriage is a serious test not so much for the strength of feelings as for wisdom. Often, women who have married ideal men suddenly find that their chosen one has become boring husbands. Or maybe we should look at it differently, and admit that in fruitless dreams of invented ideals, we often do not value the present that is nearby?
The "candy-bouquet" period of a relationship is usually filled with love delights, euphoria, and the joy of recognition. But "night blindness" is relative, women instinctively feel the "ideal man" who will become a reliable family man. Despite the "girlish dreams", a mentally healthy woman between the "hero-lover" and "ideal life partner" is likely to choose the second. What set of dignities does such a man have in the eyes of a woman, and why are the burning “macho” and cheerful, but dangerous adventurers losing to him?
Its merits are shown not brightly, but consistently.
- The attitude towards the chosen one does not depend on the momentary mood.
- He does not drink until he drops, gravitates towards a healthy lifestyle, carefully watches the festive table so that the lady does not drink too much and looks decent.
- He is serious in relationships, sees his future wife in his chosen one - and behaves accordingly: gives “necessary” gifts, expresses concern in specific actions, and not only in words, advises and waits for approval of his actions.
- He loves children and is not averse to having his own in the future, he respects the relatives of a potential life partner, is ready to close his eyes to their minor and major shortcomings.
- He is thorough in everything, from the choice of the menu in the restaurant to the improvement of the home, responsible and decent, he is never late for a date, and if he is late, he warns about it.
- He is attentive, condescending, does not flirt with other women and is always happy to help solve pressing problems - from financial assistance to moving future relatives to the country.
- In a relationship, he is patient, gentle in bed, knows how to look after his chosen one, is not obsessed with sex, tries to create an even emotional atmosphere, does not speculate with passions and intrigues, does not shake his nerves, seeking recognition that you will die immediately without him, because equal he does not and cannot be.
- And, of course, your boyfriend does not avoid talking about the future in which he sees himself and you as legally married.
Isn't it true that this type of man is perceived as a real ideal?
And now the wedding has died down, the finale of a romantic fairy tale is followed by family everyday life. The dream has come true - your ideal lives with you under the same roof, wakes up and falls asleep under your loving gaze … Physical attraction gradually recedes, other worries appear. Children are born, summer cottages are built, time eats up the daily chores, and sometimes it seems that life has become mundane, gray, not interesting.
After marriage, such men sometimes begin to seem too boring, sometimes even boring. What was previously perceived with delight is sometimes annoying. Women may get the impression that feelings are fading away, and a calm man in slippers is a real mattress and henpecked. Family habits are seen in the distorting mirror of women's whims as a degradation of romantic passion. But this is a mistake often peculiar to women. Men are much easier in this regard!
The affection of these bores and henpecked ones is deep and strong, like affection for mom. Such a person is unlikely to go "left" without good reason, he likes a quiet life, fishing, hobbies - sports, chess, politics, books, household chores, TV, the Internet. Such quiet people will prefer one woman to a series of love adventures and many victories - their own, dear, familiar, irreplaceable. And if it suddenly seems to you that life with such a man is insipid and mundane, take a look around and admit: more often than not, the desire for "crazy romance" in a stable relationship is just a whim.
Before demanding romantic passions from your "boring" spouse, which you know about, mainly from long-running melodramatic series and articles in women's magazines, assess the situation soberly. Note the advantages that life has given you in the person of this person. And there are a lot of them! Don't believe me? See for yourself.
- You do not have taps in the bathroom and kitchen, plaster on the walls does not peel, there is always quality food in the refrigerator, and in your wardrobe there are good things in which you are not ashamed to go out.
- You do not sit after midnight waiting for the arrival of your faithful, do not look for him in the nearest "wine-glasses", burning with shame in front of your neighbors.
- Children's health, like yours, is a top priority for your "bore", and if you get sick, he will deny himself a lot to provide quality treatment and care.
- The house has a calm atmosphere, an even psychological climate in which your children grow up, not frightened by family scandals. Your "boring" husband will not create stressful situations for you out of the blue.
- You are protected from unpleasant surprises in the form of an impudent mistress or who knows where the spent family budget. It would never even occur to your “soul mate” to go to the resort alone, unaccompanied by your family.
- Next to you is a reliable, loving person who forgives you your shortcomings, sometimes does not notice extra pounds, salted soup, annoying mistakes, does not complain that you do not reach the photo models from glossy magazines. It is not scary to get sick next to him, to grow old …
Isn't that what you dreamed of? And in return, are you ready to offer your exemplary spouse a sour, always displeased, face? A voice with cold notes of unspoken claims?
And to be completely honest, admit: it's not so much passion that you lack in this marriage, as simple human gratitude - one of the forms of expressing love, which often looks completely different from how it is usually portrayed in stormy melodramas and sentimental novels. Gratitude is what never lets love wither away. And love, as you know, is the basis of happiness. Be grateful for what fate has given you.
