With the advent of a child, the life of the family changes dramatically, and these changes do not always go smoothly: often after the birth of a baby, conflicts begin to arise between spouses
Postpartum depression is a major cause of conflict
In the first months after the birth of a child, conflicts between new parents are often due to postpartum depression experienced by the mother. Postpartum depression, as a psychological disorder, has been talked about relatively recently. Our mothers and grandmothers, most likely, did not even hear about it, although they probably experienced it for themselves. Postpartum depression is not a whim and not a manifestation of the bad character of a young mother, but a physiological state of the body caused by hormonal changes.
The main difference between postpartum depression and ordinary depression is that it leads to depression, tearfulness, anxiety, etc. aggression is added. A woman in this state can easily lose her temper: scream, say nasty things, and even pounce with fists. Family conflicts are starting to happen more and more often. In fact, this is just an echo of the ancient instinct to protect their offspring, which wakes up after childbirth. In such a situation, the child's father and other close people need to show patience and restraint: when the hormonal background of the young mother returns to normal, she will calm down and become the same as before.
Child jealousy
In the first months of life, the baby and the mother are strongly attached to each other, especially if the woman is breastfeeding. Feeding, walking, bathing, going to bed - all this takes most of the mother's time and energy. At the same time, the child's father may feel abandoned and unnecessary. On a subconscious level, jealousy and resentment remain, which find a way out through conflicts. The husband can openly present claims to his wife. The wife, in turn, rightly notes that she cannot be torn, that her husband is a big boy, and is able to take care of himself.
In such a situation, sharing responsibilities for caring for the child will help. For example, dad can take over the evening walks and bathing of the child. In this case, mom will have 1, 5-2 hours of free time, during which she will have time to cook dinner, tidy up the house or just relax. Conflicts over a child will be less common if each spouse makes their own contribution to caring for the baby.
Different approaches to education
When a child begins to grow up, new conflicts appear in the family, based on different approaches to education. For example: dad scolds loudly and slaps on the butt of the guilty son, who at the same time bursts into crying. The mother's heart breaks from such a picture, and she attacks her husband with accusations of cruelty. Not only does a conflict occur, but also the child sees inconsistency in the behavior of the parents. Instead of realizing that he was wrong and learning a lesson, he takes offense at his father. It is in the child's best interest for the parents to adhere to the same parenting line. To do this, spouses should initially agree on how to react to the baby's actions, what they need to scold for, how to punish, how to encourage, etc., any disagreements regarding educational methods should be resolved alone without the child.
