Almost every girl's dream is to create a strong family. Natural instincts indicate that something is missing, namely a child. With him, the family will be complete. But it so happens that a man does not always share the position of a woman. What are the reasons for refusing to be added to the family?
The thinking of men and women is very different. She may not even know what exactly is at the root of his fears.
There are many reasons why men do not want to have children.
Material side
- Financial problem. Adding to the family involves large material costs. Because of this, most men have a fear that they will not be able to provide for their family in the required material volume.
- Housing issue. Not everyone owns even a modest home. Not every man will agree to take a home on a mortgage or rent an apartment. In the first case, it is bondage for a very long time. In the second, there is uncertainty about the ability to pay for living space or unscrupulous apartment owners who can ask to collect things and vacate the premises at any time.
- Unstable work. Who will like the news of the addition to the family, when at any time they can be fired from their job, you can get laid off (especially if there have been rumors about him for a long time)
Problems with the wife
- Lack of attention from the woman. The husband fears that after the birth of the child, the wife will turn her attention to the new family member. The woman will have much less free time, which can lead to being removed from the man. A wife can devote much less time to her husband - this scares the strong half of humanity
- The spouse will become unkempt. Giving her strength and time to the baby, the wife will not find time for herself, she will stop caring for herself. Such a prospect is unlikely to be able to please anyone.
- Lack of interest in sex. Men know that pregnancy and childbirth leave their mark on the hormones in women. Also during this period, sexual life is limited. Men are afraid that after childbirth, most women are repelled by thoughts of sex, and even more so the sexual contact itself
Psychological problems in men
- Development. We all know that girls develop psychologically faster. Boys are several years behind them. Accordingly, the desire to have a child arises faster in women, and in men, awareness may come several years later.
- Age. Age is an important indicator. At first, a man may think that he is not yet ready for children, because he is young. After some time, it may not be up to them at all. And when a little more time passes, he may realize that he is already too old to raise and educate children.
- Fear of responsibility. The life of a bachelor and a married man is very different. After the wedding, there is psychological, physical and material responsibility for the wife. And also with the child. If a child appears in the family, then the father also bears responsibility for the baby's life.
- Fear of change. A stable and stable life brings happiness to her husband, he knows what to expect from her. But the appearance of children radically changes all the foundations of the family. Everything changes beyond recognition. A man is afraid of drastic changes
- Dislike for children. Perhaps the root of the problem lies in the simplest answer. He may just not like children. There are situations in which he can jokingly say that he does not like children. A woman may perceive her as unsuccessful, but then it turns out that he was not joking at all.
- Become a bad father. A person does not like to make mistakes, which can later be regretted. If you make a mistake in raising a child, you can get the status of a "bad father". Hardly anyone will like it
- The desire to live "for your own pleasure."Perhaps the man did not have time to enjoy youth, minimal responsibility, in other words, did not have time to "walk up" and live for himself
- I already have my own child. He was already married, and a child remained from the previous marriage. This is one of the most difficult cases. After all, such a person already knows all the pitfalls that children carry with them, and does not want it all to happen again. There is another option. He may be satisfied that he already has 1 or more children. He believes that he has already fulfilled his duty and now there is no point in starting another
- Unsure about your feelings. It happens that he is simply not sure whether it is love, whether he wants to be with this woman all his life or not.
- Unsure about the choice of a future mother for his children. Women are different. Some breathe with warmth, comfort and tranquility, and others with bad habits and the wrong way of life. With the first type, it is unlikely that something will be wrong. And with the second, problems may arise. A man must be confident in his chosen one. He wants to have healthy and strong offspring that does not fit in with smoking, alcohol or other bad habits.
Problems with children
- Fear of children. They do not know what to talk about with the child, what to do with him, what games to choose, because they do not have a paternal instinct
- Panic fear of dirt. Some people are terribly afraid of dirt, scattered things, disorder in the house. Yes, this is rare, but it has a place to be
- Additional responsibilities. After the birth of a child, you will have to do household chores, there will be no free time for your own interests. The whole day is scheduled by the minute
It is important to talk with your husband, recognize the cause and solve it together, despite the difficulties, because being a parent is the greatest happiness.
