In society, girls are considered fragile and needing protection creatures. This stereotype in upbringing leads to the fact that, as adults, women do not feel confident in their abilities, avoid taking responsibility and end up in codependent and abusive relationships.
How do you raise girls to be bold?
To raise girls to be bold, encourage them to
- step out of your comfort zone (teach girls, just like boys, to take on more difficult tasks, not to be afraid to set more difficult and ambitious goals for yourself, even if you cannot achieve them at first);
- rely on your resilience (courage, courage, resilience, the ability to endure difficulties - these are qualities that will be useful in the adult life of a person of any gender and gender);
- to be self-confident (belief in one's own strengths, abilities, skills, intelligence, dexterity, resourcefulness and other strong qualities is vital for all people).
How are boys and girls raised?
The researchers found that on the playground, all other things being equal, parents are more likely to express their warnings and calls to be careful with girls, compared to boys. Parents look after their daughters more than their sons. Boys are encouraged to play more actively, insured less, offered to overcome obstacles, exercise the ability to exert and not give up.
Saying to your daughters "Be careful!", "Don't fall!", "Caution!", "Be careful, you're a girl!" - what message are we delivering to them? That girls are fragile and need help, that they are not able to cope with a difficult task on their own, that they are not able to navigate the situation and independently control their actions, that they should be afraid and afraid. Whereas boys receive a different message: be self-reliant, take on difficult tasks and deal with them, be brave.
However, until adolescence, boys and girls are not very different from each other in terms of physical development. Moreover, girls are stronger and more developed. But adults act as if girls are weaker and can't cope with many things. By warning girls from dangers from childhood, we raise them to be fearful and helpless.
A girl raised with messages like this, growing up:
- afraid to speak his mind
- prefers to be comfortable in order to please others,
- not confident in their decisions.
It's hard to be bold with such a set of experiences. How can this be changed? How do you raise girls to be bold?
What can you do to raise your girls to be brave?
First. It is necessary from the very childhood, just like boys, to support and encourage (and not curb and warn) girls in their desire for physical activity: ride a skateboard, climb trees, play on sports grounds with sports equipment. This type of game is called a "gamble". Such a game teaches both boys and girls to assess the danger, to calculate their strengths, to patiently wait for success, not to give up, to be flexible in their behavior and self-confident. By playing "risk games", children train courage, the ability to be brave and follow their goals despite fear.
Second. It is necessary to stop warning and warn girls about all the dangers in the world. Instead of "Careful, this is dangerous!" tell your daughter: "Come on, you can handle it!". Instead of "Move away, this is dangerous!" say "Try it!" When you warn your daughter, you tell her that she shouldn't try and that she is not good enough to succeed and that she should be afraid. Would you like her to have this opinion of herself in her adult life?
Third. Train your courage yourself in your real life situations. Learn to stand up for your opinions, resist the influences that destroy you, have the courage and talk to those who truly admire you. Train your courage at home, at work, in public places. We cannot teach our children what we do not own ourselves.
Conclusion
When your daughter is standing on top of a steep hill with her bike, or when she wants to climb a steep high ladder in the playground, this is not the hill or the ladder. The fact is that her whole life lies before her, in which there will also be difficulties. And she must have the tools to overcome them when you are not around, and when you cannot hedge her, protect her, or do something for her. And then her own courage will help her.
