The word "flattery", as a rule, has a negative connotation in our perception, associated with lies and servility. But in relationships, it can become both a destructive factor and, on the contrary, an instrument for maintaining harmony.
Before talking about the use of flattery, you need to understand the definition. In general, dictionaries define "flattery" as deception, exaltation of someone's qualities, in order to win over a person and use him. If we take a broader concept, this term can be understood as an exaggeration in the conversation of the positive qualities of the interlocutor.
Positive moments of flattery
Relationships are all about finding compromises. But this search is much more difficult when there is no mutual support and encouragement. The common expression says that "women love with their ears," but in almost the same way it applies to men. It is important for both partners to understand that their work is being judged on merit, and judicious, moderate use of flattery will only help.
For example, a woman cooked a delicious dinner. This seems to be a completely natural function, many men take this action for granted, and some even risk criticizing the food served. Nevertheless, the phrase “I've never eaten anything tastier” or “you cook amazingly” will not only give your companion a good mood, which she will try to share with her beloved, but also provoke her to explore new culinary masterpieces. On the one hand, this is flattery, exaggeration, because the dish, perhaps, was not the most delicious in the world. On the other hand, it is an element of harmonious interaction with a partner.
The same goes for admiration for a man. Perhaps in society it is believed that he must certainly hammer in nails, hang shelves and fix sockets, but sincere admiration for these actions never hurts. The phrases “you are a real master” and “you have golden hands” will be perceived positively, even if outwardly the satellite does not show it.
The negative action of flattery
Problems begin when flattery turns from encouragement and support into a tool of manipulation: “you’re so strong, do this, this and that”, “you are such a good hostess, it will not be difficult for you”, etc. Several times a similar trick can work, but then the harmony in the relationship will be broken or even lost forever.
Another dangerous moment is flattery from scratch. Exaggerating your impression of your partner's good deeds is one thing, praising him from scratch is quite another (except for talking about his appearance). Such flattery can provoke inaction, apathy and selfishness. The use of flattery should be reasonable, limited, in order to support the partner, and not in an attempt to manipulate him.
