Divorce is a serious tragedy in the life of every family. Divorce for children becomes a real disaster. For a child who is just forming a system of values and an idea of love, this is a real collapse, a serious psychological trauma. The child is scared, he is angry and does not understand at all how he will live further.
To a large extent, a child's resistance to stress and psychological flexibility depend on his age. The most painful experience of family breakdown is children under 6 years old, since the basis of their healthy psychoemotional development during this period is stability and confidence.
How can adults help children cope with stress?
- Kids under 1, 5 years old, of course, do not yet realize what is happening, but the nervousness and irascibility of their parents is transmitted to them. They become more tearful, irritable, and sleep disturbances may occur. The kid will be helped by maximum observance of his usual daily routine. You should take the child in your arms as often as possible, cuddle him, then he can feel protected.
- At the age of 1, 5 to 3 years, children are experiencing very difficult changes in the life of the family. At this age, the whole world for them is a family. No matter how parents explain to them, they cannot understand why dad or mom is no longer around. Often children become very nervous, there may be developmental delays. In order for the child to cope with the situation as easily as possible, parents should, as before, take part in the child's life, maintaining its usual way of life as much as possible.
- The age group of children from 3 to 6 years old still cannot understand the true reasons for the separation of parents. It is very tragic when children think that the divorce happened because of them. Children can be haunted by the fear of the dark, restless sleep. It will be easier for them if the parents break up on friendly terms, and they themselves will not be in prolonged depression. Many parents make a serious mistake when they begin to share their feelings with their son or daughter or take their anger out on their children. It is best for parents to visit a psychologist and take the child to a pediatric specialist.
- Older children, between the ages of 6 and 11, are already able to understand the reasons and meaning of their parents' divorce. At this age, children begin to be afraid to lose loved ones, to be alone. They believe that they can help their parents to become a family again, they can take some actions for this. At this time, parents should establish friendly relations with each other, exclude quarrels and mutual accusations in the presence of children. Each of the parents should spend all the time with their children as much as possible, take an interest in their thoughts and feelings, and walk with them. It is useful to organize pleasure trips and new joint hobbies.
Whatever relationship the parents have, the main thing is, if they already have children, first of all think about them. After all, children are certainly not to blame for what happens between adults.
