Here are some secrets of good relationships with children.
Baby awakening
There is no need to wake the child, he may feel a feeling of dislike for the mother, who always bothers him, pulling off the blanket. He can start in advance when she enters the room: "Get up, you'll be late." It is much better to teach him how to use an alarm clock. It is better to buy an alarm clock and, presenting it, somehow play up the situation: "This alarm clock will only be yours, it will help you get up on time and always be in time."
If the child gets up with difficulty, there is no need to tease him with a "lazy person", not to enter into an argument about the "last minutes". You can solve the question in another way: put the hand five minutes earlier: "Yes, I understand, for some reason I don't want to get up today. Lie down for another five minutes."
These words create an atmosphere of warmth and kindness, as opposed to screaming.
You can turn on the radio louder. When a child is rushed in the morning, he often slows down even more. This is his natural reaction, his powerful weapon in the fight against a routine that does not suit him.
There is no need to rush again, it is better to say the exact time and indicate when he should finish what he is doing: "In 10 minutes you have to go to school." "It's already 7 o'clock, in 30 minutes we sit down at the table."
Going to school
If the child forgot to put a textbook, breakfast, glasses in the bag; it is better to hold them out in silence than to indulge in tense discourse about his forgetfulness and irresponsibility.
"Here are your glasses" - better than "Will I live to see the time when you learn to put your glasses on."
Do not scold or lecture in front of school. In parting, it is better to say: "May everything be fine today" than "Look, behave well, do not play around." It is more pleasant for a child to hear a confidential phrase: "I'll see you at two o'clock" than "After school, don't hang out anywhere, go straight home."
Returning from school
Do not ask questions to which children give the usual answers.
- How are things at school? - Fine. - What did you do today? - Nothing. What did you get? Etc.
Think back to how annoying this question was at times, especially when the grades did not match the parents' expectations ("they want my grades, not me"). Observe the child, what emotions are "written" on his face. ("Was the day difficult? You probably barely waited until the end. Are you glad you came home?").
"Daddy has come." Let him rest, read the newspapers, do not bombard him with all the complaints and requests. Let when in the evening, at dinner, the whole family is assembled, you can talk, but at meal it is better about good things, heart to heart. It brings the family closer together.
Time to sleep
It is better for preschoolers and younger students to be put to bed by their parents (mother and father). If you confidentially talk to him before going to bed, listen carefully, calm fears, show that you understand the child, then he will learn to open his soul and free himself from fears, anxiety, and calmly fall asleep.
Do not get into an argument if the child reports that he forgot to wash and drink.
A few short rules
- Show the child that he is loved for who he is, and not for his achievements.
- You can never (even in your hearts) tell a child that he is worse than others.
- Any questions the child may ask should be answered as honestly and patiently as possible.
- Try to find time every day to be alone with your child.
- Teach your child to communicate freely and naturally not only with their peers, but also with adults.
- Feel free to emphasize that you are proud of him.
- Be honest about how you feel about your child.
- Always tell your child the truth, even when it is unprofitable for you.
- Evaluate only the actions, not the child himself.
- Do not succeed by force. Coercion is the worst kind of moral education. Family coercion creates an atmosphere of destruction of the child's personality.
- Recognize the child's right to make mistakes.
- Think of a baby jar of happy memories.
- The child treats himself the way adults treat him.
- And in general, at least sometimes put yourself in the place of your child, and then it will be clearer how to behave with him.
