Very often, the parents of the groom or the bride, trying to remove some of the worries from the future young family, actively try to participate in the preparation for the wedding and help with advice. However, sometimes the opinions of the older generation on issues related to the upcoming celebration differ significantly from the ideas of the future husband and wife about how their personal holiday should be held.
Sometimes young people, fearing of offending their parents, are embarrassed to tell them directly that outside help is not required. This happens especially often when the mother and father of one side are trying to actively participate in the process of preparing a future wedding. In such cases, the bride is afraid to spoil the relationship with the future father-in-law and mother-in-law, and the groom - with the mother-in-law and father-in-law. As a result, everyone is dissatisfied, but stubbornly silent.
How not to offend your parents?
In order not to offend the parents and to politely explain to them that their participation in organizing the wedding is not required, first, the young need to seriously talk about this topic among themselves and decide what exactly in the parents' advice and behavior does not suit them. In this conversation, it is worth deciding what kind of things they can still entrust to their parents, so that they can at least somehow take part in the preparation.
You can entrust the mother with the design and order of wedding invitations or baking a loaf, and the father - the distribution of guests at the festive table and control over the decoration of the hall. So the parents will be involved in the common cause, but at the same time, the decision of the main issues (the choice of the venue for the banquet, photographer, toastmaster and the route of the wedding walk) will remain with the young. In such a situation, resentment from the elders should not be.
How do you tell them your decision?
The next stage is direct conversation with the parents. If only one party actively intervenes in the preparation for the wedding, it is better to speak with the elders to the one of the young who is close to them. It is better to communicate with the parents of the bride herself to the future newlywed, and with the mother and father from the male side - to the groom himself. It will be much easier for parents to listen and understand exactly their own child, and not his chosen one or chosen one. If the parents of both parties seek to participate in the preparation, then it would be best to get everyone together for a family dinner or lunch and frankly discuss all the controversial issues.
The main thing is to explain to your parents that you value and respect their opinion in any matters, but nevertheless, a wedding is your personal holiday and the only day in your life that you would like to spend exactly as you intended.
Ask the parents to remember how their wedding went and if everything went the way they wanted. Perhaps they will remember how their parents intervened in the preparation at that time, and realize how important it is that everything on this day goes the way the young people want. Only then will the holiday truly become an unforgettable and joyful day for the bride and groom.
