When a woman is in love and happy, she wants to please her man in all possible ways in return. However, excessive dedication is dangerous in that it deprives its initiator of individuality, pushing into the background his own aspirations, dreams, and goals. And if at first a loved one appreciates your sacrifice and desire to please, then very soon these qualities will begin to annoy him or he will use them for selfish purposes.
Refusal of your hobbies, studies, career
Dissolving in their chosen one, many women follow their desires: they abandon their favorite hobbies, studies. Instead of a successful career, which they dreamed of since childhood, they choose the life of a housewife. You shouldn't do this to yourself and your dreams. A loving person will not put ultimatums, forcing him to make a decision that is beneficial to him. He will understand and accept your desires, if it really matters to you.
In addition, an interesting, intelligent, successful woman will not lose her meaning in life if the relationship ends. She will move on and will not lose herself as a person. The same cannot be said about the woman who abandoned everything for the sake of her partner. In the event of a breakup, starting from scratch again will be much harder for her.
Birth of a child
You should not give birth to a child if a man asks about it, and you are not ready yet. It is better to talk openly with him about your fears, vision of future parenting, discuss the specific time frame that you need to take a decisive step towards motherhood.
No matter how persistently a man wants to become a father, the last word always remains with the woman. Do not follow his lead and do not rush things if something does not suit you. A child is your responsibility for life, so the desire to become a mother should appear naturally, and not under pressure, even if from a loved one.
Giving too expensive gifts
Showering your soul mate with gifts is the lot of men, part of their ritual of conquest and admiration for a woman. Of course, you also need to please your chosen one in response. Just do not show the strength of your feelings at the expense of disproportionately expensive gifts. So you turn the traditional model of relationships upside down, trying to take the place of a man, which can make him feel humiliated. Such generous gestures are especially painful if your beloved does not have the material opportunity to respond in kind to you.
In addition, there is a danger that he will enjoy being gifted. And your man will gradually begin to turn into a gigolo and a consumer.
Regret
A man, unlike a woman, does not associate pity with a manifestation of love. On the contrary, pity makes him weaker and more helpless, making it impossible to control the situation. Indeed, in addition to words, the chosen one is trying to support him in practice: to get a job, to borrow money. She begins to solve problems for him, gradually turning into a draft horse. It is rare that a man does not take advantage of female pity for his own purposes. As a result, you can get a spoiled bummer, for whom you will have to do everything yourself.
Of course, supporting a loved one in difficult situations is necessary. In this case, encouraging words, advice, a sincere and confidential conversation are enough, after which the man will want to act and win again.
Pointing out his mistakes
The expression “I told you so!” Is so beloved by women. is another dangerous relationship trap. On the one hand, a woman pursues good goals, wants to prove how cool and useful it is to listen to her opinion. But in fact, in the perception of a partner, he wants to rise at his expense, to show himself smarter. A man who is accustomed to feeling his own importance will definitely not tolerate this.
If he is not completely blind and stupid, then he himself has long understood his mistake, there is no need to remind about this once again. Perhaps, having made the right conclusions, a man in the future will begin to listen more to your opinion. In the meantime, leave him the right to make mistakes without snide remarks and a few seconds of superiority on your part.
Financial aid
Giving a man financial help is one of the most common examples of showing pity. If your man has money problems, quit his job, or is unemployed for a long time, it is great temptation to help him financially. Moreover, when a woman's finances are all right. And he will definitely give it back from the first salary.
So time passes. A one-time situation with financial assistance becomes a habit. The woman suffers in silence, working for two. A man loses all desire to change the usual state of affairs. And to break this vicious circle will cost much more effort than just being firm initially and not giving money.
Changes in appearance
If your man has an ideal of feminine beauty, to which you do not reach a little, then you should not go on a strict diet for his whim, dye his hair and do intimate piercings. All the more so when these wishes cause an inner protest in you. No one has more rights over your body than yourself. And it's up to you to decide how and what to change in it.
In addition, the man has already made his choice by entering into a relationship with you, that is, everything was fine with him before. And now it turns out that he likes blondes more or that a girl should wear size 42? Such an individual has clearly not yet fully figured out his desires, so he rushes from one extreme to another, already initially choosing the wrong girl. It seems that he does not have strong feelings for you, otherwise he would not demand changes. A man who is dear, a man is ready to accept and love without any "buts".
For unwillingness to change your appearance, you do not need to make excuses or apologize. An adequate man will quickly understand his mistake, and will also ask for forgiveness that he pressed on you. If he wants to end the relationship, rejoice at how easy you got off. Such a copy would still not appreciate your efforts and demanded more and more power each time. And when the woman's patience would run out, he parted with her. And no changes made for him earlier would have kept him from this step.
