Have you ever thought about the fact that praising a child can be both harmful and beneficial? And how to do it correctly?
The opinion of psychologists
From a psychological point of view, you cannot praise a child for the abilities that are given to him by nature itself. Such praise can be very harmful. And if it repeats itself, then your child begins to feel "special" and demands recognition of this truth from others. For example, if it turns out that your baby has a good ear for music, then you do not need to focus only on this. But success in teaching vocal or playing a musical instrument must be noted. So, you will make it clear to your child that it is valuable not only to have an ability, but it is important to develop it. Otherwise, a feeling of exclusivity can lead to oppression of the personality itself, since over time, without making any efforts to develop his skill, the child will see the successes of others, envy and consider himself a failed genius.
It is harmful to praise that a child does something easily and set him up as an example to those who find it much more difficult. Because of this juxtaposition, a child whose ability is inferior may stop trying to achieve good results. In addition, such praise tends to become a pretext for enmity between children.
By praising your little one often unnecessarily, you devalue the praise itself and train your child to be cheap. In addition, soon, the child will generally stop listening to you and taking into account what you say to him.
So how should you praise?
The most important rule: Praise the child sincerely and in proportion to the deeds.
If the child does not have enough self-confidence, then the praise will give him strength, cheer him up, and set him up to achieve the set goal. The right praise fills you with optimism when you need it. And if you notice a gift in a child, then you need to explain to him that success and recognition of his abilities will be only on condition of painstaking work for their development.
At the same time, the lack of praise also leads to irreparable consequences. If undeservedly praised children grow up and become arrogant and arrogant, then a child who has been publicly shamed or laughed at will try to hide from everyone all his life, or he will quietly hate all his surroundings. There is another type: active children, whose abilities have not been directed in the right direction, become selfish and rude towards others. There are those who do not feel embarrassed by public attempts at humiliation, but, on the contrary, ridicule them. Such children usually grimace in the back of the teacher when he punishes them, thereby amusing the whole class.
In general, the consequences of an excess or lack of praise can be great, so you need to be especially careful and careful about this moment so as not to harm your child.
