Most modern parents bring up their children according to the basic principle of childcentrism: "All the best for children." And few people think that a child's happiness lies not in the latest iPhone model and not in a huge number of additional activities.
How to raise a child? For some reason, modern parents are increasingly investing in the answer to this question a material meaning, and not a moral one. We completely forgot that not expensive education and the best things in the "arsenal" of our children are the basis of character, habits and attitude towards the world around us, relatives and friends. We bring up children according to the principle of childcentrism. Russian journalist and prose writer Yevgeny Schwartz described this social phenomenon more accurately than all psychologists and educators back in the middle of the last century: “Children need to be pampered, because this is the only way to grow them into real robbers”.
If the best becomes the enemy of the good
Modern moms and dads are trying to compensate for the lack of their attention and personal communication with all the best - commercial schools and clinics, branded clothing and expensive gadgets. Harmonious development? Easy - drawing, swimming, sports, foreign languages. And this approach has a negative impact not only on the child, but also on adults. You need to have time for everything - to work, take the child away at lunch or take the child to a circle (training, classes). Not everyone can afford nannies and assistants, so you have to sacrifice your moments of rest and nerves.
The first victim of childcentrism is adults. And the point is not only that they bear a big load, but also that sooner or later mom and dad (grandmother and grandfather) arrange a competition - who can and will have time to do as much as possible for their beloved child. A conflict develops, which the child observes, and it is he who begins to consider himself to be his culprit.
Not wealth, happiness or poor "rich" kids
For a child, the fuss around him sooner or later becomes like a dance with tambourines, and he begins to hate it or take it for granted. As a result, he builds a family according to the principle "everything is for me, I am the center of the universe." But what will this family be like if the other half in it was brought up on exactly the same principle?
I will show you a world of harmony and happiness
Teaching a child is the main task of parents. In our example, they form the image of the surrounding world and a model of behavior in the family. During the character formation period, mom and dad should take on the role of leader, leader and mentor. In a family where childcentrism is practiced, this role is shifted and shifted to the child - he decides what and when, why and how much. The unformed nervous system of children in such a family is subject to stress, which by the age of 16-18 results in persistent apathy. The child just gets tired of the hustle and bustle and striving for the unattainable. And if he also did not meet some of the hopes of his parents, then this can result in a persistent inferiority complex.
What is the secret of success
Childcentrism is a trap in the modern world, but it is easy to avoid this "trap". How to raise children correctly? Follow just 4 communication basics.
- Show that your other half also means a lot to you.
- Be selfish - do not forget about your desires, needs, do not try to predict the desires of the child.
- Clear boundaries even in the daily routine (breakfast, lunch, dinner, sleep, play and activity time) will help reduce baby's anxiety and build a sense of self-confidence. In addition, the rules of behavior are also important - it is impossible and possible to remain unchanged, regardless of the situation.
- Away with illusion - you do not need to raise your child, protecting him from reality. This will teach him to perceive adequately society, to build relationships with others without the help of parents.
And most importantly - be together more, talk, become a friend, and not a source of material wealth.
