He has not appeared for so long, and now he stands on the doorstep with a teddy bear under his arm and a bouquet of flowers in his hands. Your heart is beating wildly, your soul is tearing up and rushing, and your brain quietly but persistently whispers that you need to restrain yourself, pull yourself together and meet with dignity the one who until recently was a loving father, and then suddenly ceased to be one. Listen to your reason. Can still be fixed.
Instructions
Step 1
Accept.
Try to just accept and listen to him first. Don't push me away, don't push me out the door. Try to be above your childhood grievances. You have grown up, you should already understand that the world cannot be simply divided into black and white. There are many reasons why he could not come to you. And the most important thing is fear.
Step 2
Have pity.
The fact that he finally overcame his fear and came is already worthy of your attention. Put yourself in his place. Imagine the confusion he is in now. For starters, just have mercy. He needs your support now.
Step 3
Don't punish.
You think about why you should feel sorry for him if he did not feel sorry for you. Understand, if he is now in front of you, it means that he has already gone through all the torments of hell and was punished. There is no point in your revenge.
Step 4
Support.
In addition, if you still have resentment, then you care. You are dear people. Now you are one step away from reconciliation. Have you never thought about it? The father took his step. Be stronger than prejudice. Take your step forward. You will always have time to leave, but you will never be able to return this moment.
Step 5
Talk to me.
Take this chance to finally understand what happened. Ask your father to tell you what happened. It will be useful for you to hear this story from his lips. It may not be exactly what your mom told you. This will help you understand and forgive him.
Step 6
Remember the good.
Remember how good your relationship with your father was before they divorced your mother. Now, having matured, soberly ask yourself the question: could his attitude towards you have changed? Resentment, anger, pride, pain, shock - each of these feelings, individually or in combination, could be the reason that he could not return all this time and look at what he had lost.
Step 7
Sorry.
You can find thousands of reasons to say no. And you will be right every time in your own way. But those who come to ask for forgiveness must be forgiven. Let the past fade into the background. What is important is what is happening here and now. Make up for lost time: let Dad buy you 100 kilograms of ice cream, which he owes you during his absence.
