Choosing a future spouse is a very serious and very difficult matter. Every woman has her own requirements for the “candidate for husbands”. If she intends to have children, she will certainly be interested in whether the chosen one has a paternal instinct.
It is safe to say that no man possesses the paternal instinct, since such an instinct does not exist in nature. In some higher animals, for example, in gorillas, the male does take care of the female during the rearing period - but specifically about the female. Cubs as such do not exist for him, the female will die - the male will not take care of them. There is no paternal instinct in man either.
Even if we imagine in the order of a philosophical assumption that a man may have some analogue of the maternal instinct, then it would be possible to determine its presence or absence only after the birth of a child. Contrary to the common misconception, even in women, the maternal instinct can in no way affect the desire to have children; it begins to act only after contact with the born child. The instinct, which is triggered by an abstract image of a child, which is not even in the womb, could not have formed in the course of evolution, abstract thinking is too young for this, not a single animal except man possesses it.
The desire or unwillingness to acquire children, the willingness or unwillingness to become parents is determined not by instincts, but by upbringing, a system of values, social attitudes, and value orientations. It is certainly possible and necessary to find out what the life guidelines of the future life partner are.
A man brought up as a "family idol" will not be a father, but a "second child" of his wife.
Much depends on the family in which the man was brought up, therefore, acquaintance with future relatives is mandatory. If he grew up without a father, it may turn out that he is not ready to accept this social role. It is unlikely that an infantile man will be ready to become a father, whom both parents and grandmothers and grandfathers "carried in their arms" all their lives. An indirect sign of such upbringing is everyday helplessness: even the soup cannot be heated up on its own.
It is great if a man has brothers or sisters, especially younger ones and with a large age difference, then it is highly likely that he has already managed to acquire some of the qualities of a future parent.
It is useful to go with the future chosen one to visit friends and relatives who have children, and watch how a man communicates with babies. If it is obvious that children irritate him, rejection, you should not convince yourself that these are other people's children, but he will treat his own better - for a man there is not much difference between his own and other people's children.
If a man, having learned about a possible pregnancy of a woman, started talking about an abortion, it is better to immediately break off relations with him: he will not become a reliable companion in life.
If an intimacy has already taken place between a man and a woman, you can admit a little lie by reporting a suspicion of pregnancy (after all, not every suspicion is confirmed), and look at the reaction of the beloved. If a man takes this message as a misfortune, most likely, he does not intend to have children. Anyone who is focused on fatherhood, even in the presence of difficult material and financial circumstances, will immediately begin to think what can be done - rent an apartment, get a second job, etc.
If the man offered a hand and heart, and the woman answered with consent, it would not be superfluous to discuss with him openly how many children are supposed to have, what to do in case of an unplanned pregnancy, detection of intrauterine pathology, or the birth of a disabled child. Perhaps such conversations do not seem romantic enough for the pre-wedding time, but it is better to cancel the wedding on time than to suffer all your life.
