Raising a son in an incomplete family is not an easy task, because his whole future life and relationships directly depend on what example will be in front of the child's eyes. So how can we avoid typical mistakes in the “mother-son” psychological chain?
What type of behavior should not be chosen by the mother
Many modern psychologists say with confidence that a woman alone cannot cope with raising a boy, but this is not so. Here, first of all, it is important to understand which line of behavior to choose, how it will affect the child from the first days of his life. Therefore, the main rule for a single mother should not be what to say to the child, but how to show the main features of a “real man”.
Alarming inconsistency
The baby always feels the inner state of his mother, therefore the constant internal stress of the parent can negatively affect the well-being of the child. An anxious and tense mother brings up extremely inconsistently, incorrectly alternating between excessive self-indulgence and severe punishment. The restless atmosphere, as well as the lack of logic in the parent's behavior, will make the child whiny and capricious, depriving him of psychological balance.
Owner instinct
The judgment that “a child should have what I didn’t have” can also be negatively influenced by overdoing it with a possessive instinct. Mothers of this type, seeing the boy's desire to express himself in their own way, take it for the "evil will" of their child, perceiving it as deliberate disobedience. If this manifests itself often, the mother develops disappointment, reproaches and complaints appear that the grown man absolutely does not appreciate the upbringing given to him and lives his own life. The son himself, who grew up on such words, will constantly doubt his own strengths, will become an insecure and squeezed person.
Powerful authoritarianism
Unlike mothers-owners, who do not understand the individuality of their son, powerful-authoritarian women realize this as well as possible, but again they act incorrectly. Justifying their actions as “good for the child,” they impose absolutely all judgments and steps on their sons. Such mothers force-feed babies, are indifferent to their crying, and any disobedience is regarded as a riot, immediately punishing the disobedient child. As a result, a man grows up psychologically dysfunctional, with isolation and internal aggression towards the opposite sex.
The ideal mother-son relationship - what they are
In the situations described above, mothers do not feel the joys of motherhood. They refuse to see personality and individuality in their child. In contrast to this, one should draw the most literate and suitable type of relationship, characterized by a calm, balanced behavior of the parent, who accepts the boy as he is, taking into account his own needs, without attributing other people's desires to him.
Recommendations for raising a boy
There is nothing difficult in raising a son by a mother, if you follow a few competent advice from psychologists.
The child should be able to communicate with men. The main thing here is to understand that your child should have an ideal man who can become a grandfather, cousin, uncle or even an acquaintance. At the same time, you should not limit communication, and even more so, there is no need to say that there are no decent men in your environment. This will form in the boy the realization that a real man is so rare that it is not even worth striving to become one.
Introduce your child to male characters from books and movies. The upbringing process will become easier if the child has an idol from literature or cinema, because it is there that positive characters are shown as extensively as possible. Using the example of your favorite heroes, your son will learn that a real man is a fearless, honest and loyal knight, able to cope with any problem, protect the weak and repulse ill-wishers.
Every child has the right to live independently. Try to accept that your son has the right to make his own decisions and have a variety of interests. Freedom in self-expression and choice will help a teenager learn to take responsibility for his actions and control the situation faster and easier.
Maternal love should be dosed according to age. A small child, whose social circle is reduced only to the mother, will naturally strive for the longest possible interaction with you. However, as you get older, your mother's excessive love and custody can become a problem in the social development of a teenager.
Do not be at the same time
Both mother and father. The mother's behavioral type should be affectionate, attentive, loving and empathetic, without the presence of a tough and domineering male psychotype. Seeing a vulnerable and feminine mother in front of him, the boy will instinctively grow up to be a real man, who understands that the opposite sex needs to be protected, loved and respected.
Raising a courageous and fearless man in a son is definitely not an easy task, but a loving mother will cope with any difficulty. The main thing is to believe in yourself and your child.
