The dream of any mother is a schoolboy who does his homework himself, and all she has to do is just rejoice at the grades and sign a diary. After all, we remember how independent and organized we were, we did everything ourselves and did not bother our parents (although you probably simply forgot many moments). And now you, too, would like not to waste your nerves and strength on standing with your student above the soul.
Let's start by recognizing the first fact: the modern school is so different from the school you went to that it literally suggests that you must spend some of your time helping your child with school assignments. First - to explain to him what was misunderstood and misunderstood at school. Then - to control the execution of homework (it is commonplace for the child not to count the crows over the notebook, but to sit and do it). And in the end - to check what he decided there. These are three separate points. When sending a child to school, we can naively hope that the school itself will take care of everything, teach and educate. Meanwhile, the teachers say: "I have 30 people in the class, I cannot explain to everyone!" So just accept the first part of your responsibilities. If the child misunderstood something at school, then either you explain it to him, or the tutor. Nobody will help the child except ourselves.
Please, no matter how sorry you are for the wasted time and yourself, do not take a break with the child, do not use bad words if he does not understand seemingly elementary things. When there are many children in the classroom, and each has its own pace and way of perceiving information, noisy, many distractions, you can really miss a lot. This is not a sign of stupidity and laziness. Here, rather, the problems of organizing the educational process, or concentration of attention.
The second point is control over the execution of homework. Many mothers note that if you do not sit next to the child or check periodically what he is doing, then the student is distracted by extraneous things, as a result, the execution of light tasks is delayed until the night. And along the way, the experience of experienced mothers, giving hope: usually the need to sit next to it disappears after the third grade. What does all of this mean?
The pupils of the elementary school, without exception, have a deficit of voluntary attention. This is not a disease, not a diagnosis, but a property of children's brains that disappears with age. We see for ourselves that the older the child is, the more assiduous and focused he is, therefore the popular diagnosis of ADD (H) (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) can, if desired, be given to half of the students in the first or third grades. Treat them all? Of course not! But help with the organization of homework is needed so as not to let things go by themselves and not to scandalize all 10 years of school every evening.
In 10% of children, meanwhile, attention deficit remains longer than usual. This may or may not be accompanied by hyperactivity. It is up to every mother to decide for herself whether to take her child to the doctor or not. I would say this: true ADD (H) really and tangibly interferes with learning and often looks like pedagogical neglect. And within a fairly flexible norm, all children are restless and may be inattentive.
Perhaps your child went to school too early and his monitoring systems were not mature enough. But not to take him home? Therefore, you just need to accept the second fact: younger students need more external control than older ones, because they have not yet "grown" their internal one.
How can I help a student?
My suggestions are simple. To begin with, mom will not be able to shirk. Set up a schedule of the day, a time frame, and a reward system to bring a little more order into the chaos. Over time, your student will become involved, but at first nowhere without supervision.
1. Schedule
Make a schedule that includes school, lunch, rest, homework, and computer and TV times. You should follow its execution, since children under 9-10 years old, as a rule, do not have self-control.
2. Timing of the assignment
First, make sure that the child understands in principle what the task is about. If he doesn't know what to do, he will freeze and everything is lost. When the topic is clear, set the time: say, half an hour for one task, half an hour for another (focus on your children, their speed and tasks to get real numbers). For early execution, give bonus 5 minutes of cartoons. This simple technique encourages you to hang out less and rustle harder.
Any schedule should have a prerequisite: first - homework, then - entertainment. And the time limit for completing all homework, including checking, is 8 pm (for example). Those who do not succeed without a good reason are left without a computer. Hard? May be. But this is already working with six year olds. And the child clearly understands that games are not a privilege, but a reward, who did not have time, he was late.
3. Incentive system
The reward system is your personal carrot. This can be the already mentioned plus five minutes of games or cartoons for a high pace of work and efforts, or a favorite dish, or something sweet. And for a week of excellent work, a bigger bonus is put - for example, going to the cinema, park, etc. pleasant pastime.
When it comes time to check your homework, always try to find something to praise your student for. Pay attention to what mistakes he makes. There are mistakes due to inattention, and there are mistakes due to ignorance. And although sometimes you just want to ask: "Why ????", this question is completely meaningless. You can offer the child a simple and obvious choice: either leave it as it is and get a guaranteed lower grade, or try to correct mistakes today. If there are mistakes out of ignorance, try to explain as gently as possible how it will be correct and why.
The most important thing that every mother needs to realize is that you cannot refuse help, even if you had other plans. The child is still a child, and we are responsible for him. If the school does not prepare the student well enough, it is not fair to blame him for it. Inattention is a temporary phenomenon that will go away with age, and therefore cannot be punished for what the child is not yet able to control. But it is possible and necessary to structure a student's day and direct it, to positively motivate it.
I also recommend that you devote your free time to games for attention and concentration, so to speak, to develop this muscle of the brain. Tic-tac-toe, checkers, chess, sea battle, memory - this is not a complete list.
While children can be masterfully annoying and sometimes don't seem to mature at all, sooner or later it will happen. And 20 years from now, you will be nostalgic for the time spent on your homework. And how this time will be - exhausting or, on the contrary, interesting and informative, revealing in you the talents of an attentive, sensitive teacher, depends more on how homework is organized and how you relate to this part of your mother's work. After all, this is also work, and very responsible - teaching children to control themselves, plan and delay pleasure.
Ideal children are only with friends, and your child cannot magically become independent. But you can teach him to be organized step by step, gradually reducing the level of control over homework. And in the end you will be proud of yourself!
Julia Syrykh.
Designer. Writer. Mum
