All parents want to see their children healthy, happy and successful. But from a lack of experience and in the pursuit of imaginary happiness, they make many gross mistakes in the process of their upbringing. This has the opposite effect. And children develop complexes, fears and dissatisfaction with life. Take a closer look at these bad advice and try to always do the opposite!
Raising children is not an easy task. It often becomes a stumbling block for most parents. Moreover, if the child is the firstborn. Due to the lack of experience, dad and mom can "break wood", which in the future will be very difficult to deal with. Therefore, read these tips carefully and analyze your relationship with your child. Do you recognize yourself somewhere between the lines? If so, try abandoning your habits in favor of more constructive ones. Looking at the situation from different angles, you will probably be able to reconsider some beliefs.
Bad advice
1. Once the baby is born, decide who and what he will be. This beautiful image must be flawless. If you are overwhelmed with pride, then you have hit the mark, and you can begin to act while the child lies across the bed. Sculpt it according to your own ideal pattern.
2. In no case, never praise a child. And better - criticize, talk about his shortcomings more often, so that he knows about them and corrects himself! If the shortcomings are irreparable, let him reconcile himself in advance to avoid disappointment.
3. Never tell a girl that she is beautiful. She must choose a worthy profession. Never tell a boy that he is smart. This way he will always have an incentive to get better!
4. Do not buy toys unless the child asks for it. And if he asks, indicate to him the price and convince him that it is better to buy more useful things. This will teach you how to save money.
5. Teach your child to be frugal. For example, you don't need to buy him a new sweater if you can still walk in the old one.
6. Send and eat it by the hour! It is necessary to finish eating everything, nothing can remain on the plate. He must learn to appreciate the work of parents who have earned this mess.
7. No pocket money. A child can buy cigarettes with them. You don't need these problems. Right?
8. Leave for a walk only when all homework is done and household chores are completed. A son or daughter must deserve a walk.
9. Never let your child interrupt adults and speak until he is given the floor. This teaches respect for elders.
10. Don't let your child cry, especially the boy. This teaches you to endure all the troubles with courage. Boys are future men, and men don't cry.
11. If you are afraid that something will happen to your baby without your supervision, then you have a reason. Do not let him go a step away from you! The exception is summer camp. But keep in mind that there he can pick up lice, get sick, contact a bad company.
12. A child should grow up kind, sympathetic, well-mannered. If you notice that he is insolent to you, expresses disagreement, insists on his own, throws tantrums, gets angry - immediately suppress harshly. Even if you have to use a belt and threats. The child must be obedient! If you find it difficult to make threats, here are some tips in case you don't listen at all: “I'll give it to the policeman,” “I'll hand it over to a boarding school,” “I'll take it to the wolves,” “I'll give it to Uncle,” “I left, but you stay.”
13. Keep a close eye on who your child is friends with. Forbid him to communicate with those who, in your opinion, are not worthy of it. He must learn to choose his friends. It's okay if he doesn't have friends. Mom and Dad are great companions.
14. If a child comes in tears and talks about his problems, sit him next to you and tell him that this is all nonsense and trifles.
15. Decide for yourself which clubs to go to - it's your responsibility, not his. You better understand what he needs. After all, he still does not know anything about life.
16. Don't be afraid to lose your temper! It's okay if the child is afraid of you, next time the fear can stop him from unnecessary actions. Your child should behave in a way that makes you proud, not ashamed.
17. Listen to the opinions of neighbors and other strangers about your boy or girl. After all, strangers always know better what you may not notice, and therefore not stop.
You can continue these harmful advice indefinitely, but perhaps that's enough. They are permeated through and through with rules and prohibitions, stereotypes and prejudices, anxieties and fears … But all this was done from the best intentions: out of passionate love for their children, shame that they are wrong and fear that something would certainly happen to them. Better now to change your mind and change something in yourself. After all, then it will be excruciatingly painful to see how your mistakes one by one manifest themselves in the adult life of your beloved children.
