The most cruel book about raising children - this is the description given by the majority of readers' reviews of Amy Chua's book "The Battle Hymn of the Mother Tigress." The book describes the Chinese method of raising children, which is very different from the modern Western one. So much so that for ordinary European and American readers, he seems incredibly tough and even cruel.
Amy Chua is a renowned Chinese scholar with a degree in jurisprudence from Harvard Law School. He currently teaches at Yale University and holds the academic title of professor. The author of four books, the most popular of which was the work "The Battle Hymn of the Mother Tigress." The rigidity of the methods of education described in the book caused a wide public response. The book is not a scientific work, it describes the Chinese model of parenting, as well as the author's personal life experience.
Described parenting methods
Modern European parenting methods are based on the constant praise of children, regardless of the existence of reasons for this. In this sense, the Chinese parenting model is based on the fact that praise must be truly earned. At the same time, criticism is considered more useful, and there is never much of it.
In Chinese society, a lot is really expected of children. And first of all - unquestioning obedience and submission. It is believed that until reaching the age of majority, children should not know any independence and be entirely at the mercy of their parents. The mother and father always know better what is good and what is bad for their children. The latter's business is to listen and obey.
Celebrating children's birthdays together is a waste of time and money, as well as other entertainment that does not bring practical benefits. The main task of the mother is to prepare the child for adulthood and the best way for this is to load the child with all sorts of useful things every day.
As a result of such methods of upbringing, the child does not even imagine that parents can be rude and even contradict. Chinese children deeply respect their parents, help and support them for the rest of their lives. A daily load of useful things gives excellent academic success - Chinese children learn much better than their peers from Western countries.
The Chinese parenting model is not new. It has developed over centuries and millennia and is considered traditional for Chinese society. Even Chinese immigrants who left their homeland in search of a better life adhere to it.
The attitude of the author of the book to methods of education
Amy Chua is deeply convinced that the Chinese education system is much superior to the Western one, since from a young age she instills the truth, according to which only hard work and willpower help to achieve success in life. This is especially typical for emigrants who come to a foreign country, where no one is waiting for them and there is no one to help.
Amy's parents themselves moved to the United States in search of happiness and raised their four daughters according to the Chinese model, forcing the children to constantly work on themselves. As a result, all daughters graduated from school with excellent grades and graduated from prestigious universities. Including the younger, suffering from Down syndrome.
The only thing Amy went against the wishes of her parents was that she went to study at Harvard, while her father wanted her to go to Stanford. This misconduct initially grieved Amy's parents, but after receiving her doctorate was "forgiven".
The author also believes that the American way of life and parenting over-spoils them. They do not know how to work, do not know how to achieve goals, give up at the slightest failure and do not use themselves one hundred percent. They cannot achieve success in the same way that they cannot surpass themselves and their capabilities.
Chinese mothers' attitudes towards learning
In China, it is believed that children should only do well. Without any reservations. Five with a minus is already an unsatisfactory mark, and four is a shame! If a child cannot study with only A's, this is a serious omission in his upbringing. Only in physical education and drama are children allowed to have a grade of four. And then on condition that in mathematics the children will be the best in the class.
In the event of a conflict between the child and the teacher, the parents in all cases take the side of adults. Thus, children learn not only to respect the authority of adults, but also to establish conflict-free relationships with elders in age and position.
Attending additional circles and sections is not encouraged if they do not give a serious practical result in the future. It is believed that it is better for a child to devote all the time to study. If you attend extracurricular activities, then only in one subject and on the condition that it will be the best there.
For example, Amy herself sent her daughters to study violin and piano. At the same time, she forced them to practice the instrument every day. Even on weekends, even on holidays, even on sick days and holidays. All these efforts are only for achieving the highest result.
Other features of Chinese upbringing
Rigidity and cruelty in raising children is a blessing. It is the ability to be persistent and resist the blows of fate that should be developed in children from birth. This is how Chinese mothers imagine their upbringing system.
Parents believe that they are allowed a lot in relation to their children. Insulting, humiliating a child, threatening him or blackmailing him - all this is considered normal. It is much worse if the mother suddenly stops pushing the children and allows them not to achieve maximum results.
Any act of disobedience and disobedience of children is a serious omission in their upbringing and a signal for the mother to increase her control over them many times over. For a child in such a situation, it is best to give up and follow parental instructions.
Outcome
Chinese parents believe that their children are indebted to them for the rest of their lives. The time spent in raising and educating them, the effort spent in caring for them - all this makes Chinese children feel that they are indebted to their mother and father. And this debt must be repaid through daily and hourly efforts, even when it goes against their personal lives.
In China, children never abandon sick and elderly parents. And until the end of their lives they live with them, or take them with them. Otherwise, indelible shame awaits them.
