Families who take on the upbringing of children from orphanages are faced with the fact that the reality is far from their idyllic ideas. Someone else's child brings discord into the life of the family only by his presence. And the older generation must show patience and wisdom, so that if not love him, then at least accept, help him cope with new living conditions.
Instructions
Step 1
Find the cause of your irritation. What exactly do you dislike about the child's behavior? What actions annoy you? Once you understand this, you can talk to your child and express your wishes gently. Let's say you don't like the fact that your child spends a lot of time at the computer instead of doing homework. Make it clear when he can play and keep track of it. Do not allow any indulgence, even if it may lead to conflict. Your task is to show that there is an authority in the family (the older generation), whose opinion must be taken into account. The sooner the child accepts the rules of conduct in your family, the faster his adaptation will take place.
Step 2
It is during the adaptation period that the most difficult conflicts occur between new parents and children. Your task is to help the child to join a new family, to get acquainted with its traditions and orders. All family members should be friendly to the child, ready to help him with any issues. The child, on the contrary, can behave defiantly, provoking you to scandals and punishment (especially if this was the norm in the previous family). So he probes the line to which you can accept him by anyone and after which it is better not to joke with you.
Step 3
Don't make premature demands on your child. In addition to adaptation, take into account the psychological characteristics of the child. If this is a child from an orphanage, he may be distinguished by increased secrecy, individuality, and isolation. You may encounter household problems. But at the same time, these children are more disciplined and communicate well with other children. You will have to deal with learning problems, possibly some antisocial behavior. But you need to be ready for this and understand that such problems are an integral part of the child's adaptation to new conditions.
Step 4
If the child is small, rejection of him can arise even from seemingly such a trifle as a smell. If you have children of your own, you feel them instinctively. You must learn to love someone else's child. Exactly to learn. Learn to deal with disgust and irritation. Many adults try to replace love with pity, which is already destructive in itself. After all, love for a child includes education, care for his safety and health, and some restrictions. Pity, on the other hand, does not allow you to see a complete picture of what the child really needs, and in what it should be strictly limited.
