Love even for your own children does not always come immediately. And what can we say about strangers or adopted. But in these cases, the adult must show wisdom and patience and find a place in his heart for every child.
Instructions
Step 1
There are many situations when step-children start living with you. These can be your spouse's children from another marriage, nephews, or an adopted child from an orphanage. And they all want to see in you, if not a mother, then at least an adult who respects and accepts them. And you yourself must accept this situation as a given, as an inevitability. Only you can create the right microclimate in the family, which primarily depends on relationships with children.
Step 2
If you already have children of your own, then, of course, you have to learn to love all children equally. This is not easy, considering that other people's children can annoy you simply by the fact of their presence. But try to strike a balance with all children so that relatives do not see competition and others do not feel like strangers. Do not single out some children in front of others, do not overpraise, but do not keep them tight-lipped. Help the children build equal partnerships with each other. In their conflicts, do not look for the right and the wrong, so you will only aggravate the situation.
Step 3
Try to spend more time with your children. For the child, the new family is a huge stress. Show sensitivity, do not meddle with the child with unnecessary questions - he does not trust you yet. But do everything to earn this trust. Be genuinely interested in the child's affairs and hobbies, encourage them, find common interests. This will help you better understand the inner world of this child, and you will have a reason to be proud or happy for him. And this is already a small step to a new feeling.
Step 4
Find positive aspects in your child. Maybe he is a great student and makes you happy with good grades. Or like no one helps you around the house. After all, the child, in turn, also wants to earn your good attitude. Younger children try to please you, teenagers, on the contrary, express this with protests. You must be as correct as possible with them and at the same time make it clear that such behavior in the family is unacceptable. The mistake of many parents is to intimidate a teenager that they will be deprived of something they need or, even worse, will be returned to their previous family or shelter. You must win the child's credibility by not being afraid of challenging tasks.
Step 5
Nobody forces you to show open feelings. Not all adults are good at expressing love for their own children. There is no need to force yourself through force, children perfectly feel fake. First, you have to deal with the resentment and irritation that children can cause. And if you learn to suppress negative emotions, do not look for reasons for nagging and scandals, over time, you will be able to call this child family.
