For the harmonious development of a child's talent, support in the family is needed. You need to love him, understand and respect him. It would seem that this is already understandable, but think about whether your child knows about this love? Does he feel this love and is sure that you will support him in any situation?
Why We Lose Trust
Love for a child is a natural feeling that appears as soon as he begins to move in the womb. Psychologists say that children are often unsure of parental love. And we have often heard a question from children's lips: "Do you love me"? It is very important for a child to have confirmation of love, but we ourselves destroy this faith in him with phrases such as: "If you still behave this way, I will not love you." Bidding with love in relation to a child is unacceptable!
As parents, we must speak every word with awareness. A lot depends on us. We need to give the child a sense of confidence that he is loved no matter the circumstances. This is our main task. Psychologists have established three ways to express love for a child:
1. A loving eye-to-eye look. This is the main method, but unfortunately rarely used. It is most popular in relationships with loving couples, spouses, etc. Why do we so rarely look a child in the eyes with love? Yes, because often parents ask him to do it, if he has done something, so that you bring him to the "clean water". And he is afraid of this situation.
2. Touching. Children need tactile contact and hugs. Until the age of three, they need it equally as boys and girls. After that, the boys begin to gradually move away from this. During this period, you can find a way for them to somehow express their love in a different way. For example, pat him on the shoulder or have a duel. Fathers are often shy about expressing their feelings, especially with children of the opposite sex, and this affects the relationship with them.
3. Attention. If you decide to pay attention to your child, then do it properly, and not along the way, doing something else. Let it be fifteen minutes a day, but properly. For example, you can have a heart-to-heart talk before bed, or discuss your plans for the day ahead at breakfast.
Method to get to know the child better
When a child plays with sand, he has unconscious associations, images, feelings and experiences that were hidden deep inside. Sand therapy is based on this. With this method, parents will be able to find the keys to understanding for their child.
The work should take place together with a psychologist. He makes it clear to the child what feelings he is experiencing. Drawings in the sand help you relax, give you a sense of trust and help you open up. Ask your child to draw his mood, then complicate the task by asking him to change the drawing according to how it changes during the day. It is important for parents to pay attention to the details of the drawing: a calm or seething sea, characters, etc.
You can play a heart-to-heart conversation without saying a word. Draw what you want to say, and the child thus has to answer. Thus, you have a chance to see the soul of your child, his thoughts and dreams. You can build this tool of cognition yourself. You will need a large box into which you can pour fine sand and put not large pebbles, but draw patterns with children's rakes.
When relationships with children break down, parents notice that the child ceases to respect them. To get them back, you should look at yourself from the outside. Perhaps you have made a mistake somewhere and your moral character does not correspond to the ideals of the child. There is no need to look for the problem in it. Better take a look at yourself and find out what you are doing wrong and correct your mistakes.
For a child, the most important thing in parents is not their achievements, but moral qualities. To do this, you need to be a person worthy of respect. Analyze the communication style with your offspring. Perhaps this could be the reason for the discord with him. Recovering a lost relationship won't be easy. And the older the child, the more difficult it is. First you just need to talk and once again confess your love to him. Then admit your mistakes and ask him to work on them together.
We must learn to communicate correctly. It all depends on the age. If he is a preschooler, then the key to understanding will be in the game. If he is a teenager, then you need to talk to him in a calm tone. Do not emphasize anything in his behavior. Do not compare him with others or attribute their qualities.
It is necessary to teach the child to look for the positive aspects in himself. Thus, we give him a positive direction of thinking. He is looking for positive moments in himself and wants to correspond to them. The child perfectly understands the extent of his capabilities and needs support and approval. Even if he is lazy, he can be stimulated with approving phrases. For example: "I believe in you" or "You will succeed."
Parents are not always “white and fluffy”. They have to discipline and raise their child. Sometimes you need to apply rigor, but there are certain limits. You can raise your voice, but not insult or call names. Each family has developed its own rules derived from the experience of raising previous generations. But is it worth it to blindly rely on them? After all, you can foresee your own notes here.
The main thing is the psychological attitudes in the head of the parents. If you have an attitude that a child is a gift from God, then you should be honored to help him develop. In this case, you can no longer offend him. And all your disciplinary actions will go to his good.
