Parents of adolescents often face the fact that they do not understand their child, cannot find common ground with him, turning any conversation into a conflict. But yesterday's sweet baby did not become a sullen teenager overnight. It's just that time stopped for the parents and they did not have time to enter another role. The role of a friend for your child.
Do you need to be a friend at all? It is necessary, but this does not mean practicing familiar communication, admitting uncontrolled behavior of a teenager. Rather, it is mentoring by an older person. But here we must strive not to cross the line, when a teenager does not just take you for his own, he puts you lower. So where do you start? Since childhood.
The task of the parents is to teach the child to interact with the world. But he himself is endlessly learning. The role of the know-it-all will attract the child at first, but then he will get bored and he will want to share his discoveries with you. And what will he hear in response: "I know you better", "Mal still", "Don't be smart!" And that's it, the first door in the relationship has closed.
How do you encourage your child's hobbies? You declare that computer games are nonsense (you are partly right), and you need to study, and not skate on a skateboard all day. But what is nonsense for you and a passed stage, for a child the whole universe. And it would be nice for you to integrate into it. Bans give nothing. You can gently divert in a different direction, find related interests and benefits from the teenager's hobbies.
Don't make school a stumbling block. Childhood does not end in first grade. Look for a school according to your child's capabilities, not your parental ambitions. Be aware of your child's school life, but only to help in case of problems. Pay attention not to grades, but to the level of knowledge of the child.
A teenager still needs your company, even if he prefers the company of his friends to you. Involve him in family life. You can take the boy with you to change the pads on the car: "I need your help." With the girl, choose purchases for the house, update cosmetics or go for a manicure together. And there will be no excuses that there is not enough time for children. Everything can be done together.
