Often mothers hear the phrase: "Now I will teach to sleep with myself, then it will be difficult to wean it", or: "Do not teach it to your hands, then you will be tortured to wean it." The essence of such recommendations for parents always boils down to the fact that it is impossible or, on the contrary, it is necessary to accustom the child to something. This attitude towards the development of a baby is wrong. The root of such views is that parents view all upbringing only as a unidirectional influence on the part of adults.
In fact, not only is the mother raising the baby, but he himself also influences her. All children are different, with their own characteristics of character, development and health. Therefore, there are no universal recommendations for parenting. Always the same methods affect different babies in different ways.
Someone from infancy sleeps in a separate room and does not suffer from this at all. And someone is so anxious that they are ready to crawl under the covers closer to their mother at the age of 7. And the problem is not that "my mother taught me this way."
The realization that two people are doing the upbringing - the mother and the baby himself - will help to avoid unnecessary psychological problems. If children are born with a small difference, some parents understand this point. But when a mother constantly takes all responsibility for upbringing exclusively on herself, not noticing the child's contribution, then she begins to worry about those moments that she cannot influence.
Let's look at an example. It is really possible for any baby to be put to bed separately from the parents. Few babies fall asleep easily in their crib. And to others, a young mother gets up 17 times to once again rock. In this case, if she ignores the characteristics of the child, then she often begins to blame herself that she is a bad mother herself, who cannot teach the baby to sleep on her own. If a woman realizes that she is not the only one influencing this situation, then she will not feel guilty. Then the mother makes a conscious choice: whether she continues the chosen path, spending more effort than someone else, or is looking for other ways - she puts the baby to sleep with her.
All recommendations for parents will always be refracted in some way in relation to a particular family. This should always be remembered when comparing your child with others. Sometimes the difficulty is not that the mother is doing something wrong, but that this method does not work with her child.
