When wives complain that their husbands do little to take care of their children, the question arises: why is this happening? And is the reason not rooted in the women themselves?
"What a father you are!", "You cannot be trusted with a child!", "You cannot even do the elementary things humanly!" - You can often hear shouts of this kind from the lips of new mothers … However, often such claims are not justified by anything other than whims and desire to control every step of the spouse. The irrepressible criticism, nagging, and even curses addressed to the spouse are often explained by the unsuccessful desire to make him a "nanny", overload his own responsibilities on the head of the family, or turn him into an "errand boy" who is always at hand.
Do you think that "taking care of a child" for a man means sitting next to a child with diapers and a bottle of nutritional formula at the ready, and he is obliged to do this all his free time? You are wrong.
“Taking care of a child” for a father means teaching him something, creating a comfortable environment for the baby, that is, achieving a certain result. And the lisp and delight about each squeak of the beloved child is characteristic of mothers.
Communication between the father and the child begins during pregnancy. Men are curious: they are interested in how the future child moves in the body of his beloved woman, how he pushes there and the like. At this time, it is important to maintain good relations in the family, not to freak out over trifles, taking advantage of the "privileged" interesting position, not to rip off anger and annoyance on the husband, whatever the reasons and reasons.
Right now, a woman must make it clear that a man with the birth of a child will not cease to be the most beloved person, and - what is especially important! - the head of the family, and the growing responsibility will only strengthen his status.
After the birth of a child, the expression of love and trust in a man is one of the most important moments in strengthening a relationship that becomes deeper and more multifaceted. Trust him, for example, to bathe the baby, or walk with a stroller, and the husband himself will turn this into his duty. Young fathers gladly take part in the baby bathing ritual, walk with children, make something for the children's room. The main thing is not to turn sweet cares about a small family member into a heavy duty, and the time spent with the child (children) is a living hell, endlessly pestering the spouse with his fears and anxieties, discontent, experiences "from scratch", barbs, criticism and the confidence that without your intervention something bad will surely happen, since the stupid spouse does not have enough intelligence and ingenuity for good.
On the contrary: do not be afraid to leave the father with the child alone, this increases the man's personal responsibility to the family, and along with responsibility - his self-esteem.
The pride of the head of the family suffers if he is made to understand that he "eternally" cannot cope with simple tasks and cannot be entrusted with anything. If a man hears reproaches in his address that he “does everything wrong,” sarcastic remarks about any of his initiatives regarding the child - the desire to take part in the general affairs of caring for the child will disappear. Secretly offended by such an attitude, he will find hundreds of excuses, excuses, come up with a bunch of things "on the side" so as not to spend time in an uncomfortable psychological atmosphere, where he is humiliated as the last "poor".
After giving birth, women, according to their husbands, sharply deteriorate in character. There is irritability, suspicion, a desire to argue over an insignificant reason, control a man, blackmail him with a child, and dominate the family.
Women can be understood: with the birth of a child, not only the life and daily routine of a newly-made mother changes dramatically, but sometimes also their appearance. New circumstances make a woman dependent - from feeding to infantile ailments, moreover, often small children do not give a good night's sleep. The feeding period is always extra pounds, which the husband may not even notice, while the wife may be overwhelmed by fears: will he fall out of love, will he have someone "on the side".
At such a time, it is better not to be isolated in your own experiences, but to honestly confess to your husband that worries, and try to enlist his moral support and the correct understanding of the "strangeness of character." You should not be led by your fears and irritations. Try to make the joint time devoted to the child or children as pleasant and harmonious as possible, and contact with the child turns into a pleasant joint ritual.
A man should know that his beloved people are waiting for him at home, and he will be good and comfortable with them. The atmosphere of peace, trust and happiness is the most reliable "compass" that will lead a man home, and not to the nearest pub or into the arms of a less beloved, but less fastidious, rival.
