Learn to say goodbye to the past. This is hard inner work, without doing which it is impossible to start a new life. How impossible it is to drink pure water without first washing the cup. Acceptance of the existing situation as it is is difficult, but it is more beneficial for a person than rejection and useless struggle. In this case, it is painful and destructive for everyone's inner world.
Instructions
Step 1
Be honest with yourself. In your heart, you do not want to say goodbye to a person. You are horrified by the thought that you will never see him again. You want him to be there. Your thoughts are only about him. And he already has a different life. The husband is gone, and you are in the past. Cherish memories, love that no longer exists. Mentally argue with him, prove something. This is important for you, but for him it is no longer essential. There is no way you can let go of what has already passed. And you cannot understand that he is not who he was before. You are afraid that it will hurt, that you will not be able to cope, you are afraid of emptiness and start all over again. Now imagine that it won't be more painful than it is now. Right now is the peak of pain. Right now, everything that scares exists, but you are still alive. So you can handle it.
Step 2
Get to know and comprehend the "Gestalt Prayer". Perhaps you will disagree with some of its provisions. But the main idea is that you are you, and your ex-husband is a different person, and you may have completely different paths, even if they crossed before. This means that you also have different tasks. Try to define and fulfill yours personally. Change your expectations of people. Psychologists say that your husband is not your kin in the literal sense of the word. Ideally, he is a like-minded person. If this is not the case, then calmly forgive him for the discrepancy. It will be healthy to understand that no one is obliged to be the way others want him to be.
Step 3
Whatever happens between you sometime, embrace that bitter experience. You can treat it in different ways: as a destiny from above, as a mistake from which you can learn from, or as a way to arouse pity for yourself. The choice is yours and you can make it based on your values. But remember that you have one life, and there is something to live it for.
Step 4
Free yourself from addiction. This is what the word “let go” means. Gain independence and confidence in yourself and in the fact that even without your ex-husband you will continue to live life to the fullest and cope with everything.
Step 5
Visualize in your free time, imagine how life is changing for the better. Pictures are drawn inside you of how hard it will be for you without a husband, how everything will remind you of him. Change not only the setting, but also the inner plots. It is especially useful to do this before going to bed and after waking up.
Step 6
Accept your past, it belongs to you and has a right to exist. But this is a passed stage, leave it behind. After all, one cannot live looking back - it will be impossible to move on. Do not deny anything, do not reproach yourself for the previous choices, but allow it to be your past, allow life to develop the way it develops.
Step 7
Use a goodbye ritual. Close your eyes and imagine your ex-husband standing at your doorstep. Invite him into the house. Talk to him mentally while sitting, for example, at a table. Say whatever you want to say to him, considering that you are saying goodbye to him. Place your hand on his hand and wish well for this person. Show him off, say goodbye and close the door behind him. Now take a deep breath and open your eyes. You are on a new path of life.
