Many mothers-in-law are so attached to their sons that they try to control their lives after the creation of a separate family. The situation is especially aggravated if the husband's mother lives with a couple in the same apartment.
Mother-in-law interferes in the life of the family - what to do
If the husband's mother is trying to control the life of her son after he has created a separate family, you need to talk to her about the new state of affairs. It is best if the conversation is conducted by a man, without the intervention of his wife. He must tell his mother that he has become an adult a long time ago, he earns a living himself and can solve all problems not only in his family, but also help his parents. Let the spouse show that he is ready for responsibility, and there is no point in controlling him. Usually, if the mother-in-law is an adequate and calm woman, such a conversation is enough. Of course, she will be a little worried that her attention has been neglected. But in this case, peace is in the first place in a pair, and it is not possible with constant outside interference.
Finding a common language with an authoritarian mother-in-law will be easier for those who can pretend a little. If you show that you agree with her opinion, she will calm down. But next time he will again indicate what to do and how to do it.
The mother-in-law does not want to compromise. How to keep your family calm
In the event that no conversations help, the mother-in-law continues to come without an invitation, causing the desire to hide, constantly gives advice, criticizes, it is worth changing the style of behavior. First, it is necessary to ensure that the mother does not come to her son without a call. Tough measures will help here. Knowing that the mother-in-law may suddenly arrive, you can leave the house. Once in front of closed doors, next time she will definitely warn about the visit. Secondly, do not let your mother-in-law interfere with your personal life. The less information she has about your family problems, the less food for thought her corrosive brain will get. When communicating with your husband's mom, talk about abstract topics - about the weather, politics, pensions, etc. Don't answer questions about what plans you have, what you are going to buy, and where to go. The mother-in-law will definitely begin to advise the options that are optimal in her opinion.
Following the lead of the mother-in-law and indulging her in everything, you can lose your own family. Therefore, choosing the style of communication with the husband's mother, you need to correctly prioritize.
If your mother-in-law lives with you, it will be extremely difficult to find a common language. If desired, she will intervene in everything - in the processes of cooking, raising children, buying a new car, etc. This behavior can be extremely unpleasant for independent adults. And to forbid her to do this is almost impossible, she feels like the mistress of the situation. In this case, there is only one way out - to work hard, appear at home as rarely as possible, and accumulate funds for a separate living space.
