Domestic violence is a huge problem in modern society. Lovely ones scold - only amuse themselves, they say among the people. But what if family conflicts begin to pose a threat to health and danger to life? And how to determine the line that is not worth crossing?
Domestic violence is a delicate topic. According to statistics, in almost 25% of families, domestic violence is commonplace. However, according to forensic statistics, about 30% of premeditated murders occur in families where violence has become the norm, and about 50% of domestic crimes are associated with family quarrels. Not every person openly admits what is happening behind the facade of family relations. Outside, everything can look decent, wealthy. And about what happened inside the family, you can find out only after an irreparable tragedy. And yet. if mortal danger is recognized in time, tragedy can be avoided.
Threatening manifestations of aggression are visible to the naked eye. Do not rely on the fact that threatening signs of physical violence will remain signs, sooner or later the intentions of an aggressive person will come true. And this will happen knowingly or unintentionally - it is not so important for a victim of violence. What signs in the behavior of an aggressive family partner should alert and become a signal to end the relationship in order to preserve life and health?
- The partner is depressed, suicidal. This is not about the blues, which almost everyone is subject to. Depression is a mental illness that requires qualified medical diagnosis and requires constant treatment and prevention. Will there be enough patience, love, strength and wisdom to live side by side with a sick person?
- During family quarrels, the partner announces his intention to commit suicide. Sometimes he talks about killing his wife and then himself. These threats should be taken seriously. If there is no willingness to part with a partner, it is necessary to consult a professional psychologist, since such an attitude in the behavior of the aggressor can threaten not only his life, but also the lives of those who are nearby. In a state of passion, suicidal men sometimes take the life of their family members, and then themselves, and the latter does not always happen.
- If a violent partner shows an interest in weapons, and even more so if he has easy access to firearms or melee weapons, this is a deadly signal.
- It is necessary to listen to verbal threats: the more specifically the aggressor describes his possible actions, the more often he demonstrates cruelty and anger, the more dangerous it is to be with him.
- The partner's jealousy "rolls over", he obsessively follows every step, tries to establish control over the personal belongings of the potential victim. An open jealousy scandal is less dangerous than an ominous calm, in which an aggressive partner darkly raises personal issues related to jealousy.
- A situation should be alerted when the aggressor forbids seeing friends, parents, tries to lock the doors and hide the key, restrict freedom in other ways. A deadly warning is surveillance, wiretapping, hacking of personal e-mail, and the requirement to report every minute of time spent apart.
- If there is alcohol or drugs in the life of the aggressor, the danger increases several times. Increasing gambling addiction and gambling addiction should also be a warning. Tragedy can happen when no one expects - for example, after losing "to smithereens", when a person seized with depression, it seems that he has nothing to lose.
- Dependence on the victim, loneliness, increasing isolation and isolation - all this speaks of the growing danger to others. The aggressor can explain this by painful attachment, insane love - one should not delude oneself. The more severe the dependence - financial, sexual, physical - the more dangerous an alliance with an aggressive person.
- The increase in scandals, the shortening of the time interval between the outbursts of anger, manifestations of cruelty, the increasing attempts to push, hit - all this speaks of a deadly risk. Attempts of violent sex, physical and verbal rudeness, playfully serious attempts at strangulation, twisting of arms - should be seriously alarmed. It should not be forgotten that aggressive natures easily change mercy to anger, and mood swings can be fatal.
If a potential victim of violence has firmly decided to end the relationship with the aggressor, in no case should you declare your intentions. In these cases, the risk increases dramatically, since the news of separation can provoke real rabies in the aggressor. The aggressor can in such a situation lose control of himself, and an attempt to part with such a person can end for the victim not only with grievous bodily harm, but also with murder. Therefore, the decision to part should be made soberly, coldly and pragmatically. It is necessary to enlist support - among reliable friends or relatives. Make sure you can move to a safe place where family members are safe. And only after that, start the procedures related to divorce, division of property.
If the decision is made, you should not give in to pity, agree to gifts and persuasion of the aggressor to give him one more, last, chance to correct mistakes, to start everything from scratch. Violence is a manifestation of mental illness. If it has already begun in the family, it will only get worse. You should not convince yourself of the opposite and succumb to comforting self-deception.
