Sometimes there are quarrels in a relationship, trivial and not so much. However, close people, if they wish, can overcome the troubles and come to a solution that will suit both, if they do not become silent about their grievances.
Silence is not always golden
Silence is not the best tactic to voice your grudge. Perhaps, if you are curled up on the couch for several hours, pouting and looking at the wall, your opponent will suspect that you are not all right. However, at the same time, he can write off your condition as an offense, as well as stomach cramps. And if you are answering the question "Has something happened?" answer that everything is in order, the problem will remain unresolved. Do not waste time and do not turn troubles that can be solved into universal problems, start talking.
Time-out
Sometimes the resentment is very strong. She strangles, and I want not to talk, but to throw something at the person who brought it to this. In such a state, you should not start a dialogue. Can't deal with your feelings - take a short break and go outside. Run through the park, turn on energetic and aggressive music in your player, which will help you to throw out your feelings, heartily kick a stone lying on the road or break a fallen branch. When the storm of emotions in your soul subsides, return home and start talking.
Let's talk about feelings
Many are afraid to talk about their grievances, since their words may seem reproachful to their partner and cause aggression, and not a desire to come to a compromise. Try not to just list the sins of your loved one that caused you resentment, but focus on your feelings. Let it be not just a dry "You forgot to wash the dishes." Tell us how tired you were at work and when you got home you expected to have a quick snack in a clean kitchen and finally rest, but instead you had to do the cleaning. At that moment it seemed to you that you were not loved, and your work was not appreciated. Such an initial message is unlikely to be regarded as an attack, and you can work with it: apologize, assure you of the warmest feelings towards each other and make a schedule for cleaning the apartment.
Strictly dosed
It is possible that you have a good memory, and you have not forgotten how five years ago your loved one gave you a bouquet of lilies, to which you are allergic, and forgot to take you to the hospital during an emergency at work. However, you should not dump all the grievances at your opponent in one fell swoop, especially the old ones. Discuss the current problems, because your goal is not to humiliate a person by making him wrong in everything, but to find a way out of a situation that does not suit you.
