From time to time, problems arise in any relationship. The main task is not to get rid of all the problems - it is impossible. You need to learn how to solve problems so that this solution is final and does not allow problems to grow and kill your feelings.
Instructions
Step 1
Always listen to your partner and don't try to defend yourself. Your loved one is upset and sometimes just speak up. Trying to defend yourself will be perceived as inattention on your part. Emotions bubble up in your loved one, let them splash out, and only then calmly try to discuss the problem together. Use active listening techniques.
Step 2
After the stream of accusations dies down, it's worth apologizing. Say that you understand the dissatisfaction with the situation, agree that the problem exists, and start a discussion.
Step 3
Try to find a solution to the problem together. Take your time to make drastic proposals. Turn the discussion so that the decision is mutual, so that it is in the interests of both parties, then it will be easier to implement it.
Step 4
If the decision you are making does not suit the other side, offer some compensation in advance. A friend will much more easily endure your absence from a family celebration if in return you offer her an evening together in a trendy restaurant.
Step 5
If you are the initiator of the discussion, make sure the timing is right. It is unlikely that your partner will take due attention to your complaints if he is in a hurry to an important meeting. You need to make sure you have enough time. If the topic of discussion is really important, agree on a time when you can discuss the issue.
Step 6
You cannot know for sure what happened until you hear your partner's opinion. Don't get carried away with telepathy. If you want to know for sure, just ask. Sometimes the most incredible things have the most common explanation. Don't waste your nerves.
Step 7
Don't push the situation to the limit. If you feel like you are losing control of yourself, take a break. Anyway, nothing constructive will work out now. Relax, take a break for 10-15 minutes, take a walk and calm down. After that, you can return to discussing the problem. Try to end the conversation only on a positive or neutral note.
Step 8
Do not quarrel in public. Make any showdown in a crowded place a taboo. Never quarrel, do not start to sort things out in front of strangers. Agree on this rule in advance. And even more so, never invite friends or relatives as arbitrators of your dispute. This is only your relationship, and here, as in bed, there is a third extra.
