Psychologists say that resentment is aggression directed primarily at oneself. After being offended, we agree with what the offender accuses us of. And, therefore, we offend ourselves. This is if we are not talking about the manipulation of the offender with a sense of guilt of the offender. As you know, the life of the soul and the life of the body are closely related. Therefore, the psychosomatic manifestations of chronic and numerous grievances, as an extreme degree of self-dislike, are cancer. And, therefore, accumulating resentment in oneself is mortally dangerous.
Instructions
Step 1
You can offend a person only if he wants to be offended. Increase your self-esteem, learn to love and accept yourself for who you are. God said: "Love your neighbor as yourself" - which means that the measure of love for the world, people for each person is his love for himself. And this is by no means selfishness, but a means of survival, for those who offend themselves with dislike sooner or later end up in the chemotherapy department.
Step 2
A good way to get rid of resentment is to analyze all the circumstances of the grievance. Only after using it, do not forget for a second that you are offended by an outsider, a stranger who cannot read your thoughts, emotions, foresee many of your reactions and, in general, somehow get into your skin. Therefore, be impartial. Take a piece of paper, write the name of the abuser. Then, point by point, list what is his fault. Take your time, and consistently lead yourself through all your emotions associated with this person himself, your resentment, your feelings, all the circumstances in which the offense was inflicted. If you do this exercise conscientiously, the relief will be as if you have dropped a heavy load from your shoulders.
Step 3
If you cannot get rid of the resentment, do the following exercise several times. Close your eyes and vividly imagine the abuser and the circumstances in which you were offended. Imagine it as vividly as possible - at the level of olfactory, visual, tactile, sound sensations. How far (your eyes are closed) is your resentment from you? If it were depicted in front of you on the screen, in what part of this screen would it be localized? Now try to remember some insignificant, boring, insignificant circumstance in your life. Something, everyday - something that you do not attach any value to. Also place it on an imaginary screen in front of you. Assess your feelings, emotions, sensations in connection with this circumstance, its position on the inner screen, the distance between you. Now mentally move the picture that depicts your resentment to where the image of your chosen routine and insignificant everyday circumstance is located. Superimpose your emotions, feelings of boring "everyday life" on your resentment. Open your eyes and look at three points in space in front of you. Repeat this exercise as many times as necessary to completely dissipate the resentment. Usually three to five times are enough.
